STOP THE WORLD, "BIG ANG" GOT OFF

Flags are at half-mast all over the world.

Members of ISIS and PROCOL HARUM were sobbing so uncontrollably, a few people were beheaded on the bias.

A school of whales beached themselves.

Emily Blunt suspended all negotiations for playing "Mary Poppins" and took to her bed. Or somebody's bed.

Lady Gaga vowed to find room on her ass for a new memorial tattoo.

The Pope talked about possible Sainthood for the dearly departed... "BIG ANG."

WHO?

YOU ASK...WHO???

Oooh, sorry to make light of a greasy duckmouth no-talent. Especially when the planet is wobbling like one of Katy Perry's tits, or Adele after a microphone malfunction.

While it IS hard to keep up with EVERY idiot who is a "REALITY STAR" now, and who gained fame for being a caricature, a lowlife, or an idiot, the departure of "BIG ANG" has been quite a blow.

After all, "The Tanning Mom" is still alive. Lamar Odom too, sort of. "Little Ang" Bowie only left a show, not the planet. Caitlyn Jenner killed somebody else with her car, not herself or (shudder) a KARDASHIAN.

America has a special fondness for low-class Italian assholes who either are related to Mafia members, or sound like they are. "The Sopranos" (a rip-off series borrowing from "The Godfather" trilogy) remains an ICON of American TV. So does "Jersey Shore," the MTV embarrassment which did nothing but follow the bickering, blundering and bawling of no-class slobs with names like "The Situation" and "Snooki." And "BIG ANG" was on some stupid show that had to do with Italian morons and "da mob."

Sadly, every now and then, some overweight moron collapses. Some drug addict gets an overdose. And some chain-smoker actually dies of cancer. Too soon. Too soon. Too soon.

Even though she enlarged her lips so she could not only smoke a pack a day, but smoke the ENTIRE PACK at the same time, it's a shock that "BIG ANG" is no longer with us.

It's fucking HEADLINE NEWS.

After all, she was a REALITY STAR ON CABLE TV where there are 500 channels and almost NO show is actually seen by more than 1 in 300 people.

There will come a time, and don't you want to live to see it, when governments will simply give us free food, lodging and medical care, so that EVERY day can be a legal holiday in honoring a deceased "REALITY STAR."

It's something to live for. It's something to die for. God Bless. Allah Akbar. Smoke cigarettes and don't believe the warning labels. Understand we are ALL talented and deserving of cameras following us around as we spit, curse, pick fights with loved ones, and dress trashy.