ACE WHOLE - Retarded Idea for his Retarded Fans

You remember Ace Frehley? He was the guy in KISS who didn't SING. At least, not often. While even their drummer managed to score a hit while in the band, KISS was basically Gene and Paul. I know, as if you even care.

But in this inane era where most everyone under 40 has their head up their own ass, and everyone over 40 is desperately looking around to avoid trouble, WHO the FUCK wants to buy THIS guy...singing COVER VERSIONS?

Come on, Shauna, when you've got the originals as indelibly sung by everyone from Cream to Steppenwolf, how does a semi-competent vocalist stand a chance? Answer: he doesn't, except that retards are not going to know the difference, and leave NICE COMMENTS and buy (if Ace hangs around to autograph copies at the pathetic places he's gonna play to support this).

April Fools for those attending an April 1st performance or ANY performance.

Naturally to entice more idiots, the guy has "guest" appearances by not only Paul Stanley, but goof-face nitwit Slash, and "I've got a slutty autobiography to sell" Lita Ford. Gee.

I don't wanna come down on a has-been who's still trying, and really, what ELSE is he gonna do with his time, but this seems like such a ridiculous idea.

When somebody out of gas, like Jann Arden, does a "covers" album, it's because she at least has a distinctive voice and SOMEBODY might want to hear what she can do with whiny, naggy, yowly songs popularized by Janis Ian and Lesley Gore and other scalded cats and sullen dogs.

But THIS guy is not known as a vocalist. To be frank, he's not even known for being a talker, as his speaking voice is so absurd he was DUBBED when KISS made a made-for-TV movie.

Granted, most any idiot can bellow "WILD THING," but if you're not full of beer in a karaoke bar and being pushed onto the stage by your drunken friends, WHY DO IT? Just to say you're still relevant and you have product? Anyone suggesting this album will make it into the Top 200??

I know the KISS ARMY, however old and demented they are, will hulk their pot bellies and droopy tits to anywhere any past or present KISS member is playing. That goes for female members too, few as they might be, and chubbier in the belly and droopier in the tits. But still, nobody under 40 cares and most over 40 have very limited money to WASTE on proving devotion to people who are not DEITIES. It's one thing to think KISS is the WORLD when you're a kid, it's another when you've passed puberty (and on your way to passing out).

I recall Ace as a nice guy. Funny guy, too. Too bad he ain't Trower, and can't get steady gigs as some kind of "guitar hero." But THIS is such a sad, silly idea. It's just another example (like memorabilia shows and self-published tell-all books) of how gruesome it is when people who most likely have false teeth and arthritis are hanging on to their fame by tooth and nail.