Thursday, February 11, 2016

WOWIE ZOWIE! A NEW LITTLE BOWIE

Anxious to set the record straight after THIS headline appeared, Duncan asked to be interviewed. Who could say no?

Q: OK, I guess you were offended by the reference to being Angie Bowie's son, right?

DJ: RIGHT! Who the hell is SHE? She's not FAMOUS. I learned long ago, put your love where the money and fame is. I'm just being honest.

Q: Speaking honestly, what IS your fucking name? Zowie Bowie or Duncan Jones? Was Bowie NOT your father's legal last name?

DJ: Actually it was Newley. Anthony Newley Jr.

Q: Up until recently, nobody knew you were a "director." Nobody knew anything about you except you hate your mother and being called "Zowie." Do you plan to fill a void for Bowie fans?

DJ: I suppose so. I just won't fill a void for my stepmom iPod. That would be unseemly. However, I'm my own man. I don't call myself David Bowie Jr.

Q: And you never had sex with Mick Jagger.

DJ: Hell no. I'm married, and I'm not pregnant, my wife is having the baby, not me. I mean, Jeez, let's back off on all the androgyne shit, ok? That was mom's schtick. I mean, Dad's. I mean, sometimes I didn't know who was Dad and who was Mum. That can scar a person.

Q: I'm sure it can.

DJ: I called Dad "Mum" once, and he gave me SUCH a scratch. You can still see the scar.

Q: You look like him, not like Angie. Was there a temptation to be a rock star?

DJ: Oh, I was offered the chance to be exactly like my father, and I refused.

Q: You were offered an RCA record deal?

DJ: No, I was offered a punch in the eye.

Q: It can't be easy being the son of David Bowie.

DJ: I won't know for sure till I read the will.

Q: Good luck in your fortunes, your fame, dealing with the press, and continuing to ignore one of your parents.

DJ: Thanks, I've been getting advice from Ronan Farrow. I don't take all his advice though.

Q: No?

DJ: No. I'm NOT a faggot. Thanks for the space on your blog, which is a true space oddity. It's just missing three things.

Q: What are those?

DJ: FAME, FAME, FAME!!!

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