Monkey March Madness - and Huffington Post shills for Dairy Queen

You know Arianna Huffington, dahhhling.

She's the cocksucker with the Zsa Zsa Gabor accent. (Anybody remember who Zsa Zsa Gabor is?)

Zsa Zsa married a bunch of rich fuckheads, including Nicky Hilton (of the shitty hotels) and George Sanders (who divorced her, married one of her sisters, and killed himself).

Zsa Zsa didn't have much talent, but she was blonde, a good cocksucker I guess, and made a fortune thanks to divorce settlements. She also appeared on talk shows because people thought her strange accent was amusing.

Zsa Zsa Huffington is a blonde, a good cocksucker I guess, and was married to some rich guy who turned out to be gay. She got a LOT of money, and turns up on talk shows to burble in a funny accent.

Being rich helped her become a celebrity, though nobody can quote a single thing this prattling pussy has ever said.

She created "The Huffington Post" website where idiots write columns for free, while she rakes in even more money to stuff up her twat.

Not above being a fucking whore for any big business, Huff has been relentlessly flogging "FREE ICE CREAM" from the sugary, fatty, kill-your-arteries chain of garbage desserts called Dairy Queen.

I still remember having a Dairy Queen soft-serve cone when I was about 13 or 14. I can't forget it. I threw up.

I've noticed that or the past several days, all the "steal the headlines" news aggregates and search engines, including Yahoo and Google, have been featuring a link to THIS post at Huffington.

This is news?

It's media whoring. Hey everybody, a rich fat company is making sure that for TWO FUCKING WEEKS, you're hyped about a day when they dole out a small free sample of their unhealthy dollops of sugary snot.

You can't buy that kind of publicity.

Oh. Yes. You can.

The oh-so-generous company is looking forward to the headlines and articles the following day: "Huge lines for Dairy Queen!" I'm sure they're telling their employees to take a very, very long time in giving out the small free samples. Keep those lines nice and long.

They're paying SO little to get people to keep reading and seeing and hearing DAIRY QUEEN.

(I know, I've given them way too much publicity, but this blog is about media manipulation, and sometimes, that means being manipulated a little).

In case you missed it, a few days ago it was "Pancake Day."

IHOP ("International House of Pancakes") promoted this bogus day. I don't know if they got some corrupt politician to "officially" declare that it's "Pancake Day" or not, but the result was, you guessed it, articles all over the media about how IHOP was "giving away" a pancake to anyone who could waddle in. What? Long lines? People infuriated? So what. They'll be so angry they'll damn well come back another day to have pancakes. And pay for them, too.

Jokes about "pancake day" from the late night talk show hosts? Fine with IHOP. It's ALL good. Except their product is almost ALL bad.

If you think this is nuts...free pancake samples and frozen dessert samples for a country that is already the MOST OBESE NATION ON EARTH, I must add that this is also...

SIT ON YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS, DRINK BEER, EAT CRAPPY JUNK FOOD, AND WATCH NIGGAS LITERALLY JUMP THROUGH HOOPS MONTH.

In other words, "March Madness."

This wasn't a big deal when I was a kid, but it's a fucking BIG DEAL NOW. It's a big deal in a world desperate for constant amusement. Wasn't it not long ago that everyone was screaming about the fucking SUPER BOWL? Aren't people sniffing jockstraps down in Florida and drooling over "Spring Training" and the start of the tedious baseball season??

So here's "MARCH MADNESS," which is a tournament about...YAWN...oversized Africans (with a few whites) running back and forth in their colorful underwear, flashily jamming a ball into a hoop.

I don't think there is anything, besides golf and soccer, more BORING than basketball games. It's the SAME fucking thing over and over. Get the ball, run down court, and a) throw the ball from long range into the bucket, or b) aggressively bully close to the hoop and jam the ball in, or c) no, it's really only a or b. Or miss the ball and the other team runs down court...

And this is COLLEGE basketball for fucking Christ's sake. Nobody watching has been to college. Nobody watching even knows what city the Sooners are in, or the Tar Heels or the Wombats or whatever the name of the fucking team is. There is absolutely NO reason to watch or care.

This is NOT professional basketball with actual star players who are making millions. These are just a bunch of nobodies. WHY WATCH? Oh, because the media has hyped into into a frenzy, and labeled it "MARCH MADNESS."

Following one of the worst Februarys in history, with snow in almost record amounts in some areas, and record-setting days of freezing cold, let's all heat up watching sweaty Africans literally swing off the rim of basketball hoops like chimps in trees. What fun.

Guys are supposed to watch sports all night long and all weekend long, and fantasize about getting off their asses. Really. Americans have NOTHING better to do with their time off than vegetate watching idiotic basketball games. These fucking games are even shown in prime time. They'll even pre-empt late night television. For years, "March Madness" was bought by CBS for prime time, and David Letterman would just give up, and go to Montana for a month. His show would air an hour late, so re-runs were fine with him! This time? Oh, right. Letterman is leaving the air, and has about a week or two left.

Another reason to promote "March Madness?" Gambling money greed. There's a lot of illegal and legal gambling going on, over which team of glandular black freaks will win it all.

People with absolutely no knowledge of handicapping basketball STILL will bet on this shit, because they are SO bored out of their minds, and wouldn't think about going to a fucking GYM and getting athletic themselves. While entire countries are warped about gambling (Great Britain leaps to mind), America is selectively corrupt about making the government an accomplice in having people lose their life's savings. Las Vegas, of course, has legalized gambling, but slowly, other states are joining in, and several have legalized Internet gambling, too. New Jersey, home to the ailing Atlantic City, has sold that town down the river (or rather, into the Atlantic Ocean) because OBESE AMERICANS would rather gamble while sitting at home than going to Atlantic City to do it, where they MIGHT be tempted to actually walk on a boardwalk or, gasp, go to the beach and SWIM for a few minutes.

Pancake Day, free rotten vomit-producing ice cream, more money for Zsa Zsa Huffington, and...basketball bullshit. "March Madness" is the next opiate up the nose of a dumbed down culture.

Watching basketball and looking out for free days to get a sample of junk food, is a substitute for exercise, reading, sharing quality time with family or friends, or doing anything useful.

Meanwhile in Boston nobody's paying much attention to the trial of the puppy nicknamed "The Joker." Yes, a jury was finally selected, and for the next month (of MADNESS) maimed victims will be pointing a finger (if they have any) at this brat. His lawyers will insist that it was his brother who "brainwashed" him and so he should, uh, go free. The irony is "The Joker" isn't the suicide bomber type. He and his brother didn't stand around and blow themselves up with the three who died. They planted bombs near unarmed people, and ran away like the Muslim chickens they are.

"The Joker" doesn't want to die for Allah in the electric chair. He wants to be pampered in jail until enough Muslims (including his burka-shrouded fish-smelly sister-in-law) blow up a prison wall and help him to escape to Syria.

Meanwhile, watch African goons show off on a basketball court, and slurp beer and eat corn chips. It's the America Way. As long as it lasts.