Brandon Lee: "My Mom's a Celebrity Cocksucker" - Now Make Me Famous, Too

What an expression. Is it hemorrhoids? Is it a metrosexual desire to fuck both male and female photographers taking his picture? With that corny hairtyle, maybe it's Sam Smith's true love trying to get his attention?

It's BRANDON LEE, everyone. Let's all be impressed. There he stands, waiting for his close-up.

What's his talent? Swimming from lousy rock star Tommy Lee's cock into plastic-boobed Pam Anderson's cunt.

To be fair, mostly it wasn't swimming. It was just the force of ejaculation, and he, a pinheaded sperm (and he still is) was at the head of the line.

Jesus Fucking Christ, "BRANDON." What, "Taylor" and "Tyler" were already taken by aborted fetuses or something?

If I had a dopey last-name first-name like BRANDON I'd be looking chagrined, too. Especially if the entire world has seen my mother suck Tommy Lee's cock, and then make a fool of herself marrying and re-marrying a slimeball that got famous for fucking Paris Hilton.

Hey, what's good enough for Mia Farrow is good enough for Pamela Anderson: "I'm famous, so I'm foisting my SON on you all. Find something for him to do, no matter if he has any talent or not. If I can fuck Tommy Lee, then I can FUCK your complaints about NEPOTISM!"

PS, Brandon, the barber apologizes for the haircut he gave you, the Phantom of the Opera wants his coat back, and NOBODY wants your faggoty shoes.