NOBODY wants their MTV - Internet killed the MT Video Stars

According to Roiling Bone, ratings are DOWN for MTV.

That's news to me. I didn't even think there WAS an MTV anymore.

Last I checked, the place that was once full of homely black guys, white douchebags, and a few borderline perkies and sluts, had yielded most of their time to terrible teen sitcoms nobody wanted to watch.

It seems that somehow, with 100's of cable channels specializing in everything from videos for dogs, to snooker 24-7 to inane women's talk shows, to incomprehensible shit in foreign languages, MTV would be around somewhere if you surfed long enough.

What can I say? "Find yourself a new PARADIGM," and "SELL T-SHIRTS" and "Eat shit and DIE."

Today, aside from extremely wealthy no-talents like Ed "Boris Becker's Bollocks" Sheeran or Mumford and Buns, NOBODY is making music videos, and yes, if they do, they throw 'em on the Net for FREEEEEEEEE and take a percentage in GooTube dollars or Vimeobucks. This percentage is not much, of course. The same nickels and dimes Spotify tosses at the panhandlers now giving away music on their site while the rest of it is stolen on forums and torrents and blogs.

Remember when MTV was actually fun? And everyone got excited over a risque video? Or something stupid like a bunch of sluts in plastic garbage bags stomping around shouting "I Eat Cannibals?" How about a woman well over 40 in a cheerleader outfit, her eyes popping like her tampon just exploded, squealing "Hey MICKEY!" Ian Dury as a cornerman watching Roger Daltrey get the shit beaten out of him.

You stayed around watching for an hour or two, discovering new artists, buying the records, and amassing hours and hours of VHS tape so you could re-watch Blondie being a slut, or a slut being Blondie. Oh well.

There's Beyonce and there's Vimeo. There's aerobics passing for dancing. There's fat-faced fags singing ballads. If you look around enough, you might find something ludicrous but somewhat entertaining, like Bob Dylan pretending to be a 40's noir detective (yes, even if his hair looks like something Harpo would laugh at) or Weird Al in drag making fun of Lady Sogga.

PS, GooTube is LOADED with music videos from sap-faced guys in their 40's and 50's self-indulgently shoving their mugs at a bad camcorder, and croaking worthless original tunes and even more ridiculous cover versions of pop hits. There are off-key bints staring at the sheet music propped up near their monitor and getting the lyrics wrong anyway. There are idiots simply stealing any song they can find and uploading it with a picture of the artist and the caveat, "I do not own copyright, this is fair use."

You call that progress? No wonder there's no such thing anymore as progressive rock.