The bowel-moving tribute to RICHARD THE TURD

They re-paved paradise, and restored the parking lot. But not before hauling Richard the III, well known star of a Shakespeare play, to a glorious new resting place.

Strangely, nobody got a quote from Richard on how he felt about his posh new digs.

However, it's so touching to know that the citizens of England have nothing better to do than queue up to witness this immortal moment in history, and get a chance to look at a box.

Well, of course, it's not an ordinary box. It contains one of the most extraordinary men in the history of the world. He was the first guy to lose all his wealth at the track, and grumble, "My kingdom for a horse!" He was the first King Richard the Third. He was also misshapen, which was a wonder in its day and almost as gruesome a sight as Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Most noteworthy of all, there has been no other ruler of ANY country who was also a parking lot.

It's no wonder the papers have been full of tributes. This one is so touching.