Slime-on Towel starts greasy Latino BOY BAND

Oh, you THOUGHT I was kidding about the Wacky Paki quitting to form "JUAN DIRECTION" and sell to the vast population that no speak English.

Not only is Slime-on Towel wiping his tongue up and down Zayn's hummus-dripping anus, burbling about the "SOLO ALBUM" that will make a fortune, he's wet-dreaming about starting yet another group.

At one time, it was a novelty to hear Bitchie Valens babble "La Bamba," like he had a mouth full of hot cuchifritas.

Now, there are huge portions of America where either nobody speaks English, or every sign is bilingual. Why? Because lazy ungrateful LATINOS won't speak English. While every other group on the planet, even the legendarily stupid Polish, learned to speak English, Los Blancos decided, "Oh, we'll make an exception for the poor, poor LATINO IMMIGRANTS."

With no reason to learn English, and being handed all kinds of welfare and food stamps, and being allowed across the border by people who DON'T leave on that border and cry about the Latinos from thousands of miles away, there's been a population explosion. Latinos have even out-paced the blacks. Whites (aside from white trash) are not breeding much at all. Blacks have slowed down. Latinos? They aren't saying "No mas." They keep counting: uno, dos, tres...ocho, nueve..."

True: the #1 condiment in America is NOT ketchup anymore, it's SALSA.

American commerce is pandering to Latinos. Latino cable stations are proliferating. Latino fast food chains are prospering while Burger King and McDonalds are tanking. In fact, a lot of traditional fast food places now are making sure to serve MEXICAN FOOD, and SPICY stuff.

Slime-on Towel is rich enough so that the only Spanish he EVER has to hear would be coming from his maid as she tenderly sudses his underwear in the sink. Maybe he hears her purr a Bebel Gilberto samba while she puts his t-shirts on the "shrink till the nipples show through" wash cycle. But elsewhere, it's a cacaphony of loud, nasal Spanish and "No hablo Ingles, Senor Blanco!"

Slimey's casting his ironic, raised eyebrow at the huge Latin market, which, after all, is something even The Pope is doing. The Pope's excuse is he's Latino himself, but even the previous Pope realized, "where the FUCK do we find enough Catholics to keep us in silk and satin robes? Ahhh...those 4 foot-tall bleating, fearful, child-like Latinos who believe so much in Jesus they name EVERY BOY after him."

Yes, thanks to Mr. Towel, the future of MUSIC is going to be ethnic boy bands for teen girls and gays, and RAP and Shitney ballads for everyone else.

Sing it Mr. Jupp...

"I'm an old rock and roller and my time is gone..."