Lily Tomlin said that no matter how cynical you are, it's hard to keep up.
Some anonymous wag said "If it ain't broke don't fix it." He anticipated buying an ugly, harsh, weird-looking light bulb and discovering it stays dim for five or ten minutes before finally breaking out into something blinding and stark.
Too bad somebody in the florescent light lobby declared, "Be Communists, outlaw the old fashioned bulb. Make it an ecology issue." But don't outlaw machine guns or ask that tabloid newspapers tell the truth. Etc.
Great, we're going to believe that the "new bulb" won't be harsh, and will be efficient AND cost-effective. And if it explodes after 2 years when it was supposed to last 20, you go find your receipt and tell Jeff "Bozo" Bezos you want your money back from that Amazon purchase.
KEEEE-RIST. There's always something nasty going on, some insult to your intelligence, some massive SNAFU fuck-up to waste your time.
I'll briefly touch on health care. You've heard of it? "Health Care." You probably don't actually have it. If you do, you might not get it for long.
What's certain is you'll jump through enough hoops to get a heart attack. The UK is a fucking frustrating zoo (and the world thinks otherwise!). The USA? No surprise. A zoo, too. "Obamacare" sounded like a life saver but there's a hole in the middle.
The hole is not only that you are restricted on the number of doctors or hospitals who are on whatever plan you're on, but that once you're in...you can be thrown out. Yes, it's one of THOSE. At the end of the year, you must sign up AGAIN, do the paperwork AGAIN, spend hours at a confusing website AGAIN, and talk to some monkey on the "help" line who will keep obtusely telling you what to do without explaining how.
Enough said. Except that if you say "FUCK YOU" and walk away, YOU are the one who might go bankrupt paying your next doctor bill without insurance coverage.
"Insurance," Milligan laughingly proclaimed, "The white man's burden!"
He was wrong of course. The white man's burden, as Kipling insisted, is the non-whites. And today's grand example of it is some Muslim Millennial twatlet who got herself in the papers all over the world...for DEMANDING not a replacement for a package of "defective" candy bars, but A LIFETIME'S FREE SUPPLY.
What's a self-entitled psycho Muslim Monkey Bitch to do, except act like she's going to blow up the Nestle factory? To demand AND GET front page coverage and pose with the OFFENDING bars? Look at this hummus-faced self-entitled snotty bitch!
An ordinary (white) woman would've gone to her supermarket, explained the minor problem, and asked for a replacement box. The manager, Allah Tesco-Muhammad, would've been fine with it, and maybe called up Nestle to ask if they'd had any complaints that a shipment of Kit-Kat bars didn't have wafers in them. If so, fine, pull the remaining packages. If not, give refunds if any other packs have the freakish mistake.
Somehow, if YOU have a problem, you're told it's minor and silly. In the 21st Century, you're expected to jump through hoops, fill out forms, and if something important like health insurance is screwed up, or the trains don't run and you've lost a valuable job or lost a vital appointment, you're supposed to shut up. Accept it's the 21st Century. But a religious fanatic who lives like it's the 16th Century gets the front page if a fucking candy bar doesn't have a wafer in it.
Oh. Sorry. Let's not neglect BLOWIE.
Yes, the self-absorbed fashion-phony GooGoo GaGa will be paying "tribute" to Bowie.
You remember, Bowie is the one who influenced her so strongly. Except the "Gaga" in her name comes from Freddie Mercury, not BOWIE.
Oh? Why not toss in a few Madonna songs, bitch, since you ripped HER off, too? Why not inject Madonna with a virulent strain of cancer and kill her off completely? How about importing some fucking bugs from Brazil, where everyone's worried about a new plague where kids are born with tiny retarded heads? PS, in Brazil isn't that normal?
Yes, it's very fucking depressing when every fucking day is full of trials, tribulations, and Kuntrashian photos. Yeah. Today's unavoidable fish-pout stupidity:
She's upset about her "big boobs." Meaning, her fans?? She doesn't look THAT upset, does she? PS, the DAILY FAIL had a half-dozen other shots of self-absorbed bints making kissy-faces while staring into their fucking cellphones.
Somehow, this shit depresses me.
Some dimwit wog with a degree written on a pappadum might say "You're just unhappy," but I'd question it. I'd say, "Doctor Barfi, the difference between unhappy and depressed is something I do understand. If I punched you in the face and you didn't fall over, I'd be unhappy. If I was sent to jail for it, I'd be depressed."
It seems that only IDIOTS are getting along without a care in the world. An IDIOT will pester D-listers for autographs, and then crookedly grin, and go waddle over to annoy somebody else so he can add to his collection. There he goes, the happy idiot, proud to show the world photos of himself with the same stupid expression on his fat face, standing around with "stars" who wouldn't give him the time of day if he didn't pay them. What, he's the guy who brags to his friends, "I scored," when it was with a whore? Whom he paid $100? Ignorance IS bliss.
How about an IDIOT who reads 'Pride and Prejudice' on YouTube, oblivious to nobody watching or caring? What anti-depressants is THIS bitch taking, that she is so happily preoccupied droning in a boring voice and smirking her obese and repulsive face at the camera? If she wasn't an IDIOT she wouldn't be showing off with amateurish footage of herself sitting at home with idiot relatives wandering in the background. This is all supposed to make it seem like we're in her home, and she's our friend and is reading to us? I think not. She's just an IDIOT who doesn't know better and is happy that way.
How about an IDIOT who bats her hard-boiled giant eyes will droning Taylor Swift covers? How about an IDIOT who spends his life opening Amazon packages in front of a camcorder? He thinks others should care what he buys or what he thinks about his purchases! That's why he uploads the tedium to YouTube and even pretends he has some kind of "Coffee Time" TV show and that these are "episodes." PS, he's UGLY, too. Fat, witless and gruesome.
Yet, IDIOCY saves them. These IDIOTS show NO symptoms of being unable to cope with the 21st Century's shite. They seem oblivious to wasting what little time (hopefully very little) they have left.
They show off their autographs, their lack of reading skills, their bad singing and their boring opinions, and are just part of the clog in the toilet that we call "social media."
Meanwhile, deserving people who are at least professional, are starving for attention. They are frantic (and pathetic) in trying to call attention to a new album on some indie label. They and the label can do nothing but flog FARCEBOOK and go to stupid sites like SOUNDCLOUD to offer FREE SAMPLES. And nobody even is impressed with getting to hear a whole song FREE when they can go find some Ukranian asshole, or Dutch Douche or Kim Dotcom nazi to give it ALL away.
Sorry, 200 or 300 hits (and 4 or 5 "heart" symbols) is all YOU get for your hard work.
PS, Ochs may have liked you, Mr. W., but putting out demos you did in 1970 isn't likely to impress too many people, especially when you re-recorded them all pretty similarly on your first album. PS, Crain, your label might have faith that you'll sell a few copies of your album as you trudge around gigging in small clubs. I wouldn't have signed you. I get no joy whatever in hearing your formulaic attempts at doing what Joni and Joan did so much better 40 years ago. On this point I am neither depressed nor unhappy; I'm being factual.
IF I'M BEING HONEST, the number of singer-songwriters who can compete with past masters is few. The number of new songs that are any good is miniscule. And, come to think of it, if you go to a shelf and decide to listen to that Joni or Carly or Henley album you thought was so great, you just might find yourself depressed (not unhappy) to discover that it's lost a lot of its charm and many tracks are so bad you wonder why you ever thought they were good.
Are we having fun yet??
They say hope is the thing with feathers. Yeah? If a thing has feathers, that implies it can fly, and move, and go through ch-ch-changes.
Hope is the thing with tar on its wings. It has a stinking story and it sticks to it. Getting change is a slow, slow process. Like getting rid of this asshole pretending to be a woman:
Note that word above the outline in red. That "GIRLY" name. We'll get to that in a moment.
If that "Day in my Life" phrase is familiar...well, yeah, I talked about this shit-head a day or two ago. I rhetorically asked when he was gonna have his three auctions pulled.
Ebay Rhettorically answered, "Frankly my dear, we don't give a damn."
Way too often in life we have a neighbor who gets away with being a prick month after year, until We move out. We put up with a government official who never gets fired for being incompetent and tyrannical. We have to shop at a store that has contempt for us and shoddy merchandise and the alternative is more expensive and inconvenient.
Whatever the Rhett Butler or Allah Kazam handling THIS situation on eBay, the result's been frustration. As in: "Well, yes, this seller has had many many many warnings, has indeed had auctions removed, has indeed been given a week's suspension and a month's suspension, is indeed doing the same thing over again..."
And two of the three auctions were pulled. Not the above one. The seller wasn't suspended.
And this shit's been reported for months and months, and this seller has THREE aliases.
The message is basically: "Stop telling us. Don't be like your heroes. Don't fight the system. Don't blow any whistles. Don't be an activist. Don't battle for change and justice."
Today? Ebay admits, "Indeed, that name in the corner of the photo DOES refer to the name of ANOTHER account the seller has.
"Indeed, that GIRLYY watermark refers to one of his other accounts. Indeed, the seller usually puts that name on all the photos he uses with that other account that it's also been used on yet a third account, and ALL three have done nothing but "Day in my Life" auctions.
"Indeed, you are correct, it's likely this seller has done nothing but steal photo sets off porn sites and pretend to be the woman in the photo. Indeed, this seller does have THREE accounts, so that when one is suspended or warned, he can always sell on one of the others, if not both others. Indeed, don't worry, appropriate action will be taken!"
Maybe. Maybe not.
What else is in the news? Too much stupidity to mention. I'll briefly note the idiotic Iowa caucus vote from last night that people are making TOO much of.
So, crap-faced wetback moron Ted Cruz won the first (of dozens) of primaries? It means NOTHING. The media hype and fury is RIDICULOUS. The headlines all over the place are "Donald Trumped!" and "Trump Destroyed!" Guess what, Cruz won by about 28% to 24% with another jerk getting 22% and a few others splitting the rest.
Does getting 4% more than your rival make you the winner by a landslide?
Does 28% of a vote mean you have such a great chance of winning more against better competition?? Or the same competition in less of a hick state than Iowa??
Christ, the media STINKS. It's not that I love Trump, it's I prefer HONESTY to hype. Trump didn't lose by much, and guess what, the winners in Iowa have included in the past, Santorum and Huckabee. Did either go on to win the Presidency? Or even the Republican nomination? NO.
Fer Chrissake, a caucus in Iowa would mean almost as much if it was held in Grimsby. It's not like Manchester. Or London. There's a long, long way to go. And it will be tedious.
On the other side, Clinton got maybe 49.6% and old Sanders got 49.3%. So everyone's screaming old Sanders is on a roll. Er, no. He LOST. And after New Hampshire (he's a Senator from Vermont) he'll see his numbers drop. So why the hype? Because that's what the MEDIA does to try and stop us from being depressed. Only they make us more depressed, and less interested in reading their drivel every fucking day.
Do I even need to say that NONE of the candidates are really too good, or will be able to get decent and useful changes through?
Another news item today: Mr. Cosby, trudging on a cane, age 78, is in court trying to avoid going to jail for sticking his finger in a dyke's twat. THIS, after he settled with her over 10 years ago and paid the bitch off.
Yes, I'll repeat: he stuck his finger in a dyke. That's ALL he did. Mr. Rapey-Rape did not rape her. He didn't push her into an alley and fuck her brains out. He didn't terrorize her. She had come onto him over and over, been alone with him (a married man) and felt very comfortable being in an intimate setting with him over drinks. It's he-said she-said over how much was consensual. He insists his finger-fucking brought her to orgasm. She, perhaps not getting all the favors she figured she could coax from him, got mad and sued for MONEY.
It's pretty ironic that over 10 years ago, the Philadelphia prosecutor said, in essence, "OK, it's no big deal and no way can this be brought to trial. Settle it yourselves." And they did. So he came back with this, in essence: "I've read the transcripts of your testimony. You, dyke, are willing to get massive money because Bill stuck his finger in your twat? This, after you were coming on to him, wanting favors from him, hanging around with him in pretty intimate and private evenings? Fine. Cos, pay the bitch off. I am NOT going to prosecute this. Everything you've said is private, confidential, and won't be used against you."
Ten years later? You guessed it. The prosecutor has retired. The private sealed testimony somehow got "unsealed," and a zealous, publicity-mad new prosecutor screamed, "I'm gonna get this old nigger before the statute of limitations runs out! I'm Mr. Women's Lib! I'm GREAT! I'll be mayor of Philadelphia one day! Now let me give a half-blind old comedian and Civil Rights activist a fucking heart attack and make him spend a million defending himself against something he settled LONG, LONG ago!"
Yeah. Enough of today's fucking news!
Frankly there's just so much crap going on, it's hard to keep track or care. It's like looking at turds flying around and around a toilet bowl as it's being flushed. All you really want is that they ALL go down the drain and none are left floating to keep on aggravating you.
Doesn't it seem like you're a planet, and you've got turds orbiting around you, and comet-like streams of piss flying in your direction? And that half the time it's cold, sometimes hot, sometimes you're totally in the dark, and sometimes you see things way too brightly and clearly and you're almost burning up from it?
It might just be me. But I do know some people who feel pretty depressed (a few are also unhappy). It also seems that most songwriters have the same feeling, at least long enough for them to write something down.
I think of Mr. Wheeler, who wrote the song Henske sang so well: "High Flying Bird." Hope WAS the thing with feathers in that song. And the singer? "Lord, look at me here, I'm rooted like a tree here."
If it scanned he could've added, "And I'm being invaded by termites and woodpeckers."
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