Bill Hoobastank almost Housebroken Over Kenny

Bill Hoobastank has been all over Farcebook, Twatter, Forums and even blogs, posting about the devastating loss of Kenny Baker, at 81, the dwarf who fit into the R2D2 costume.

"When I first heard the news, I peed myself. Then as the news stank in, I let go a huge load in my diaper. Yes," says Bill, "I was almost housebroken over the news. But that'll never happen. I'll always be an overgrown baby when it comes to gurgling about D-list celebrities."

Kenny himself recognized that Bill was a loser. At a New Jersey memorabilia show, Bill paid $20 for an autograph, and this is what he got:

Bill gurgles and chuckles at the memory. "He didn't really mean it, I'm sure," he insists. "I think he may have been upset that I drooled all over a packet of 3x5 cards and ruined them. I can't help it. Being near celebrities makes me giddy. I grin like an imbecile. I am SO HAPPY!"

Later, Bill went to the photo area so he could get a posed shot with his idol. "I mean," Bill gurgles, "this guy was actually INSIDE the R2D2 costume! What a talent! I haven't been inside a famous costume. I haven't been inside a woman. I haven't done much of anything except waddle around taking pictures of what I eat. And that's never a woman!"

No, Kenny was NOT happy to see Bill yet again!