So, Olympics. So what?

Hey, I borrowed from a fairly recent Paul Simon song title: "So Beautiful or So What?"

It's not a good song, but in the past 20 years, how often has any line from him been worth a second glance?

But I already digress.

I watched about TWO MINUTES of the Olympics. That was an accident. A bit of channel surfing, and I saw some Olympic divers showing off.

I ask you (rhetorically) is there anything more STUPID than Olympic diving?

The Olympics were originally about sports that could be useful in daily life. Training for an Olympic marathon race helped you in running to your village, or running away from an animal. Training for the javelin could help you throw a spear at your proposed dinner. But what the FUCK is the point of doing a complicated dive with a few twirls and somersaults?

If you were at the edge of a cliff, chased by monkeys or something, all you needed to be able to do was dive into a river. You didn't need to make it a FANCY DIVE. (Come to think of it, you could just JUMP. More important is knowing how to swim!)

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I have more important things to do than watch the Olympics. (Blogging, for example).

Also, I've seen this shit before. I've seen the cute little girls do their Olympic floor exercises, and a) I'm not a pedo, b) I'm not a paedo either, and c) I've seen the BEST with stars such as Nadia or Olga, so I don't give a damn about the latest copycunts.

As for Olympic boxing, they wear headgear, so you rarely see a knock out. The judging is usually corrupt. The fighters are judged on landing clean pitty-pat punches so a few of those more than equals one good smack that sends someone to the floor. No. NOT interested.

In the end, America raked in more medals, which is like the bratty kid at a Halloween party skipping over to the table, and scooping up more than his share of M&Ms.

In the end, there was one show of sportmanship: some running bitch who was toward the back of the pack, knocked over another on the track, pulled her up, then fell over and the other bitch picked her up, and they did it because neither were in contention for a medal anyway.

There was one show of shit: a French runner crapping himself.

There were several examples of bigotry and racism with athletes refusing to compete with some ethnic person they don't like, or making a derogatory comment on the bus.

There was the scandal of drunken American athletes pretending they were robbed at gunpoint when they were merely ordered to pay for the damages they caused to a toilet in a gas station.

There were the usual number of "bad judging decisions." The only mildly interesting one involved a bunch of mongoloids. A Mongolian wrestler lost his match to some Slavic slob, and his coaches got so upset one of them stripped to his blue underwear (not turquoise) and the other flung a shirt down: "“Three million people in Mongolian waited for this bronze medal and now we have no medal.” Awwww.

There was the amusing case of female swim partners who broke up and would no longer compete in tandem, because one kicked the other out of their shared room to fuck some guy all night.

Otherwise...zzzz...and a quick glance at the papers each day over the two weeks never showed anything that made me think, "Gosh, too bad I missed THAT."

Most of the attention in America focused on the latest diminutive black girl winning a ton of medals in gymnastics, and gawky Michael Phelps grabbing more swimming medals.

Most of the attention in other parts of the world was on Insane Bolt, who is still "the fastest man on Earth" IF you make sure he only runs a CERTAIN distance. Put it this way, if he was in the marathon, he would probably finished near the back of the pack. So what's the big deal?

Lastly, you can look at the way the countries finished, and MAYBE have some vague sense of pride, if YOURS did well. "Hah, ISIS may be running wild, half the country is now speaking Spanish, but Jesus, the Good Ol' USA won a load of MEDALS!" Or, "Look, we bloody English Ka-niggits beat the smelly French by a WIDE margin!" Or, "Vee Chermins are again, and always vill be ahead of our allies in destruction, Japan and Italy." And the Chinese can think, "We're pretty hopeless since we have billions and billions of people and are really only #1 in producing smog and making Nike shit using child labor."

The Polish have no reason to celebrate anything except that they are good at running...to England. "Nice to have you, Walter, we do prefer a Polish sausage once in a while to this steady diet of curry and hummus. Hope your neighbor Habib doesn't cut your fucking head off and use it to practice the shot put."