Nobody's Purple over Haze

Watta surprise. A snotty picture of a fully clothed porn star brat pulling a face...

HAS NOT SOLD.

I think Joni Mitchell's song title is still true: "Sex Kills." The diseases are still out there, and so are the jealous maniacs and the rest of the malcontents.

The well known phrase "Sex Sells?" Not so apt.

A quick check of EBAY proves that while there are still desperate panty sniffers and Huelbig goons buying autographed photos of sexy babes that will never help them lose their virginity or go straight, MOST of this crap is like a constipated ape: IT AIN'T MOVING.

Porn star? WHO the fuck is a fucking porn star anymore? Not this Haze bitch. Even a topless picture of the bitch isn't worth the ink and paper. The cheapest "collector cards" on the Net are the "bench warmer" ones: pseudo cheerleaders doing coy poses and signing the cardboard. So what?

The has-been porn stars from the distant past, like Seka and Jenna Jameson, have eBay accounts but are like Robin Virgin on a fishing trip: spending most of the time doing nothing but waiting and nattering to themselves. $40 for a personalized book by Seka? Who cares?

$50 or $100 for a photo of Jenna? Guyyysss would rather spend that money for stinky knickers AND a lewd phone call from some "porn star" bitch in Florida. She could call herself a "porn star" because she's sold amateur DVDs on the site. That's like Shauna saying she's a professional singerbecause a few idiots paid a FIVERRRR to her on the Internet.

The funny/sad thing is that "porn stars" now have to do gangbangs and bukkake to even get noticed. When was the last time a Playboy or Penthouse "playmate" or "pet" moved from the centerfold to an acting career? You can't even point to a best-selling "leaked" porn video anymore, since nobody is famous and everything gets pirated freeee.

Haze is obviously young enough and stupid enough to be thrilled anyone is taking a photo of her, and that she's gotten a dozen "credits" in porn DVDs. These sell to retarded Kentucky truckers who don't know how to get Internet porn fer nuthin'. In another year or two air-headed Haze will be emptying her bank account to her gynecologist and trying to re-grow her pubes. She'll be the stay-at-home Mom to a menagerie of different-colored children. And the neighbors will be sticking out their tongues at her and wiggling the fingers in their ears.