Willie Wankers

Indeed, indeed, when a celebrity dies, it's time for the dicks of the world to take theirs out and jerk off to the fallen star. In public. They can't wait to wank away, spitting out fetid, gooey DRIVEL.

In the case of old Gene Wilder, it was a puker's toss-up. Either they ranted about "The Producers" or they raved about him being "Willie Wonka." Very few bothered to mention how he was versatile enough to play a romantic lead opposite Gilda Radner, or a convincing and funny blind man opposite Richard Pryor, or that "Blazing Saddles" was a nuanced performance that had him starting out drunk and ending up suave and confident.

The "Fun" about death, on Twatter and Farcebook, is that any dumb dickhead can pretend to be Gene's closest friend, and offer a heart "R.I.P." or a lame "Now he's with GILDA."

And what DID he fuckin' die of? This was soft-peddled, along with the pictures of how frail and confused he looked toward the end.

The always reliable NY POST of Rupert Merde Ox:

It's always sad when a guy like Wilder gets withered and croaks, because he was a "man child" comedian.

The "man child" isn't supposed to grow old. Or die.

As Leo Bloom, he played deftly along the boundaries of someone naive and crooked, someone innocent and able to be corrupted, and someone who could be sweet and charming and also loud and bratty.

There was usually a boyish quality in his work. This even applies to "Young Frankenstein," which, if you've watched it recently, is actually a pretty nasty piece of work.

As the title character, he's vain, abrasive, short-tempered and crass. It's hard to like him. But even in this role, he was naive enough to think he could create something that wouldn't be an utter monster. He figured he could put his creature on display, have him sing (like a retard) and dance (like a retard) and the world would be delighted.

But what does the Internet know or care? Yes, all people wanted was to show that THEY knew who he was, and THEY would pronounce the final "RIP." They would post those YouTube links of favorite moments. They would tell everyone where the torrents were that had the BEST downloads of ALL the key Wilder movies.

In the end, he escaped death by not recognizing it. That's SORT OF a blessing with Alzheimer's. You're a burden to everybody but you are as mindless as a puppy. Reagan, his daughter said, liked her shiny fingernails. He'd stare happily at them like a child stares at M&M's. So Gene Wilder sank into a befuddled, owlish, peculiar version of himself...God knows what THAT was like...how incontinent he was, he medicated he was so that he wouldn't have a childish temper tantrum or fling his poo.

As Robin Williams used to say, before he spared everyone, and himself, from further horrors, "Reality, what a concept."