Whitwam Thank You Ma'am

A signature on a piece of paper? $5 or $10. But on a DRUM HEAD? Almost PRICELESS, no matter how ineffectual or enigmatic the drummer.

Or do you remember how Whitwam rivaled Ringo and Watts as the "best in the business?"

Why not decorate a wall of your home with five of these? Make a sort of OLYMPIC five-ring symbol out of them.

Pinhead Clare has forbidden Jeff Dung from signing ANYTHING unless the money goes to "THE WEBSITE." A teasing note (here, here and here) has announced that sometime in the future, if everyone is VERY good, Jeff will sign three unusual items.

"Since a drum head is much too cumbersome to ship," Pinhead writes, "we will instead be offering smaller items. Jeff will use a scale-arm plastic compass to trace a completely round circle onto the back of a pair of his boxer shorts. He will then scissor out a perfect circle AND sign it. Any smudges will probably not be his signature but his skid marks.

"I have also arranged for him to sign a small drumstick. It was picked absolutely clean of Kentucky Fried Chicken and coating by Whitehorn. The Commander, of course, is on the drinking man's diet, and lives mostly on rum.

"Lastly, I will be offering a wonderful thumbnail sketch. It's a little drawing Jeff's done on the thumbnail that popped off at his last Skegness gig. It broke away during his obnoxious 10 minute solo during "Whiskey Train." The drawing looks a bit like: @..@

He said it was ME: two beady eyes, two big ears. No chin.