Jeez, No Wonder She Pisses People Off

OK, she's just another new wave imposter. Yep, she's not the best singer in the world. Granted she's mostly about "the look." 

But I guess what also irks some people is the arty pretentiousness. OK, she's an older punk, so she did actually know some of the players in the game (like Elvis Costello). But THIS is ridiculous. A fucking song name-checking Lester Bangs? 

And let's put it this way, REAL punks do not network on Farcebook.

But here she is, with the not-sexy bored-bitch pose. The trout lips. She actually accentuates her tiny chin by sticking her mitt against it. Who finds this erotic? Knickerless Pain? No wonder there's a limit (and limited edition) to the number of people who buy her stuff or go to her shows. It's hard to find 100 aging fanboys that desperate.

OK, here's another advertisement, and ala-Basket Case, she's self-congratulating herself: "the artwork...is rather good..." (right, it's always about the album cover, not the music inside). 

OK, now that you've told us you're for sale. WHAT the fuck IS the deal with putting out SINGLES in this day and age? Vinyl singles. How retro. How kewl. How is it worth it? You have to have a KILLER song to make anyone buy vinyl anymore.  

Ah. This thing is worth buying not because it's a picture disc (Jane Aire used to pull that stunt, as did Debbie Hairy). Just name drop that you're working with famous has-beens:

Well, it's nice that she is pretending SHE didn't write the notes. It's in the third person, so that excuses the hype. Er, "she suggests the force of energy to create and make progress is innate within us?" Really? I can hardly wait to read these EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS. 

"Pure garage, new wave, forceful, powerful, steam-roller..."  Gee, when even Elvis Costello isn't Elvis Costello anymore, Wendy is capable of a HIT SINGLE? By doing what?  

If I want "pure garage" I can dig out "Louie Louie" fer Chrissake. If I want "New Wave" there are plenty of old Costello albums I could listen to over again. Why do I want 80's music in 2016? And why quote a guy who lived ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO?? Mark Twain??

But there's that line: "HER MOST EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS..." That's got my attention. 

Considering her best work had Costello's EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS, I can hardly wait to read THESE. WHEN DO I GET TO READ THESE LYRICS?

So far, she's almost put me to sleep with all this predictable, boring shit about staying in a funky Manhattan hotel (zzzzzz), the joy of "mixing with denizens of Lower Manhattan" (zzzzzz, they were and are some of the jerkiest assholes on the planet), and sight-seeing CBGB and other overrated holes. Oh, Christ, and she's name-dropping Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol. 

And this Lester Bangs shit. Please, this "you hadda be there" or "retro, I'm there" crap of seizing on some dead guy nobody was that crazy about. This is like some dweeb walking around with a Kerouac book, but worse. Old issues of Creem? Collected shit from one of the many wanna-be's who were going to cheerlead, via hipster prose, a NEW MOVEMENT that wasn't all bowel? 

ALL RIGHTY THEN. Would you give us the great LYRICS, please? 

No? You've got MORE NAME-DROPPING? 

JEEEEEEEZ. 

She went to New York and "wanted Abraham Lincoln....Hank Williams...Altamont..." You iz a long way off, lady. 

Now she's over it all, I guess. She might as well be in Bristol sipping tea with Roland the Pinhead. She might as well be eyeing venues that Saskatune plays. NYC never sleeps, but now she's wandering around areas in the UK that are shut down for the winter!  

Lady, don't turn your FARCEBOOK page into WAR AND PEACE. 

WHERE ARE THE FUCKING LYRICS? 

THE EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS? 

THE ONES THAT BEAT PATTI AND BLONDIE AND NICK AND ELVIS AND DYLAN, AND OFFER THAT TREMENDOUS INSIGHT INTO THE NEW WAVE MOVEMENT?

THE ONES THAT WILL INSPIRE US TO HAVE "UNSTOPPABLE ENERGY?" 

Oh, dear.