SO PROUDY WE FAIL....

Huh? Pinhead Clare is actually BOASTING again? PREENING? PROUD? 

First off, he's accomplished nothing. That curry-filled gas pump Grease Cook managed to pick up a phone and answer a few long distance calls from obscure countries where Nazis fled. "Ach, can you book us der Boko Harum? Yah?" "Yah. Got enough to pay Gooker? Do the others get free room and board in a place as good as the Adam & Eve in Blackpool? Done deal!" 

This dopey-faced crypto-nerd schoolmarm acts as if people saw his website and HAD to book the band. No, they book it DESPITE the fucking website. 

Grease Cook got a gig in someplace almost as exciting as Skegness? BRISTOL? Wooo hooooooooo! What an achievement, NOT. Let's get out the GOOGLE MAP....



Just kidding, of course. Bristol isn't THAT appealing. The Hall smells and Roland is an asshole.

The funny part is that even though the problems of three idiot people (let's say Roland, Basket Case and Shauna) don't mean a hill of beans in this world, all three of these farts continue to soil the air with their gassy enthusiasm and their self-absorbed stinking sense of ego. (Same goes for Bill Hoobastank, who posts with that giddy grin as if he didn't PAY to stand next to a bunch of has-beens and nobodies.) 

Let's take Pinhead's beloved Boko. Most people have no idea they are even around. And they aren't, since it's one old goat and his cover band. 

They are well below the level of such contemporaries as Eric Burdon and Peter Noone, and don't even tour as much as Jay and the Americans, fer Chrissake. What's to be proud of? 

Yet the aging fanboy cyst who runs their website smirks and goosesteps about every pathetic failure they have. Yes, FAILURE. You call playing Finland a success? 

This smelly turnip of a twit is so clueless, he Tweets, runs email updates, posts his hebdomadal piss-pots and self-congratulates over FAILURE. Gee, he wangled three free tickets to Gooker's boring guest spot at a church (not even a rock venue). Gooker shares the billing with a black woman nobody heard of, and some kind of black Gospel dancers. Jeez. FAILURE! 

But Pinhead boasts that he gave away THREE tickets. ("Thanks, Church Lady, you knew the place won't be filled anyway"). He acts like he's Mr. Generous, and the gig is prestigious, and that people care. It won't be reviewed and it'll be forgotten a day after it happened. Be REAL.

Does he even admit to himself that he had a hard time finding THREE people to GIVE the fucking tickets to? 

Next he minces all over his website (here here and here) like the sugar plum fairy, because his annual "Christmas" contest is coming up. He drags this boring shit out for over a week, dangling stale prizes that he thinks are SO valuable. So a few losers like himself go through his hoops. He doesn't mention how many participate. If five or ten do, that's a success to him. It's a FAILURE to everyone else. 

99 people out of 100 couldn't tell you who the Boko lead singer is, or even name a song Boko recorded. That's how irrelevant they are. 

Only someone vain and delusional would spend his life being the FREE webmaster and sniffing around the band's drunken goat's ass leader like Pinhead does. But oooh, the perks: he can get right up close to Geoff or Josh and pour them some beer. He can cadge the best seats in an open-air Denmark show and only pay for the bus and the train and the plane and the hotel. Maybe he dupes enough idiots to pay HIM to let them pay a gig earlier that day in a local bar. How many hours of the day does he waste on this utterly ridiculous twattery? It's the same dullards and the same music and nothing's changed in 30 fucking years (except Keef and Maf disappeared, which is hardly a change for the better). 

Ugh. He thinks he's important. But so does Basket Case and Shauna. They blow their tiny shrill horns and stamp their feet and blink their eyes and act like 6 year-olds pirouetting for Mumsy and Dadsy and all the relatives at a tedious Christmas party. "Ooof, the girl is going to sing for us...take a stiff drink and keep that frozen smile on your face till it's over." 

Unlike Boko, which has a Pinhead cheerleader, these twats are cheerleaders for themselves, which would make any normal person pretty grim. Not these quims: "I'm SO impressed with myself! I did SUCH a great job on my NEW VIDEO!" "Guyyysss, watch for my NEWEST Taylor Swift cover! And follow my inane Tweety-bird tweeting!" 

These fools just won't tone it down. They act like everything they do is earth-shaking news. Actually, they've got a VERY small circle of friends who can even endure their mass emailings or who can stand to read their over-posting on Farcebook. 

Or, to quote the title of Larry David's sitcom: "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM."