Turntables As Nigga Sneakers - Ain't it DOPE?

Give Blacks some money and they waste it on $400 ugly Frankenstein sneakers. 

"Oooh, got me da latest Kanye, I got me dem 2008 limited edition Air Jordans, yo dese I got standin' in line all night and I got double da price on Eeeebay!" 

In America, you can make a six-figure salary being a janitor. You can be a dumb plumber and make more than a doctor. Ain't it dope? Real bad? Wicked cool awesome? (Oops, that latter term is SO white!) So Niggas can afford ridiculously expensive TURNTABLES to show off? Turntables as the new designer jeans, maybe? Cooler than a $20,000 pimp fur coat? A corny Cadillac?  

Niggas like scratchin' vinyl, and boom boom vintage DISCO records. That's why it is very likely the so-called "vinyl revival" that mostly involves dance vinyl has led to the hope that hugely expensive TURNTABLES will be snatched by affluent African-Americans. As in: "Yo, yo, YO, lookit how MUCH I spent on my SHIT, man. Look at mah JUNK!"



The media, as always, is ALL OVER this. They will set the trend, as long as companies send over free merch, and point out, "Ya gotta write about THE NEXT BIG THING, and tell the sheep what to do." And black sheep is more gullible than white sheep, yo. 

But how gullible ARE Blacks??? To quote a tennis player who is close to being a senior citizen: YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!

Over $1,000 or $2,000 for a fucking turntable NOW? In the 21st Century?? 

Back when there was ONLY vinyl, I had a pretty respectable Technics, and it cost a few hundred, tops. When I replaced it a few years ago so I could continue digitizing records and yeah, listening to my old stuff now and then, I didn't go above a few hundred bucks. And I'm not spending a fortune on replacement cartridges either. 

To play the fabulous re-issue Yoko Ono albums from the 70's? Or the Dylan-in-Mono releases? Mmmm, I don't think so. To quote a Yoko song: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

Or as Billy Joel sang it, "Ya get more mileage from a cheap pair of speakers." My Dynaco babies have lasted decades.  

Sure, there will always be audiophiles. There are also some pretentious Millennials who want to be "hipsters" and will wear silly hats and loud shirts and strut around holding a 1st edition Neil Gaiman or something, and they MIGHT flex into a surviving chic record store for a "wall item" limited edition pressing of some noisy band of idiots. BUT....this seems like a scam on the Blacks. 

Let's remember that Rolling Stone now puts Bruno Mars and basketball players on the cover, and devotes full page reviews to taking Kanye West seriously. Rolling Stone looks to be sniffing at Affluent Black Ass, and dividing their space between crap that Buppies (Black Urban Professionals) care about, along with the "what's Neil Young up to" shit that their aging White readers want. And fuck Taylor Swift and that shit, because Millenials get THAT shit FREEEEE on a zillion Taylor Twitter feeds and websites. 

MY money is on BLACK MONEY being the great White Hope for turntables and vinyl. As in, "If dumb Niggas pay outrageous prices for stupid looking footwear, and $1000 scalper seats to "Hamilton" the hip-hop Broadway musical, and of COURSE a fortune on SUNGLASSES, then why not TURNTABLES???" 

Dream on. There's nothing worth listening to for "serious" audiophiles. The number of people who care about classical music is teeny-tiny. Same with jazz. There's no reason to buy audiophile vinyl to hear shit that was digitally recorded with Pro-Tools! 

While Rolling Stone is correct in stating that CDs are on their way out, the replacement for almost everyone is shitty mp3 stuff. It's FREEEE and easy to copy and plays just fine on a computer with decent speakers, or a laptop with ear buds. 

The Niggas who are supposed to spend their time scratching their vinyl back and forth, and pimping turntables, are actually spending their money on insanely expensive Dr. Dre ear buds and speakers for the laptop. If anything will rival SNEAKERS for ghetto bragging rights, it'll be various brands of ear buds to get killed over. 

The assholes who tell me, "Vinyl is making a comeback" because they read it in the paper should point me to the re-opening record stores and tell me that a mint copy of any vinyl re-issued on CD could sell for more than a fiverrrrrrrr.