Let's Mourn the Moron who wrote DELTA LADY

Shall we re-visit the lyrics about Leon's affair with pliable Rita Coolidge? No surprise she didn't stay with him long. She went on to crazy Jim Gordon who turned around and punched her as hard as he could for no reason. Then, it was the fabulous cheatin' Kris.  

Woman of the country
Now, I found you
Longing in your soft
And fertile delta

Isn't that a charming euphemism for twat? "Fertile delta." 

And I whisper sighs
To satisfy your longing
For the warm and tender
Shelter of my body

Come again? (And again!) The "shelter" of your body, Leon? Really? You mean she can avoid gnats by ducking under your beard? Do you mean "Shelter" as in the name of your record label? Plug plug?

Pretty egotistic of you to think that whispering "sighs" (isn't a sigh already a whisper) is a way to satisfy a woman. Maybe whispering, "I've got $50,000 in the bank..." 

Oh, you're mine delta lady
Your mine, be all mine
Delta lady

Yes, nothing a woman likes more than to be told she is owned. 

Please don't ask
How many times I found you
Standing wet
And naked in the garden

The woman is, what, an exhibitionist mental case? No, no, I understand Leon, she was SO HOT FOR YOU, you had to THROW COLD WATER ON HER and toss her into the garden. Watta guy.