"I told him I'd gotten an offer, via my exclusive, all inclusive, abusive and reclusive website, from none other than Carmine Appetite, the famous drummer. The offer? He and Gooker were getting a million pound contract to form a power duo, as Vanilla Fudge.
"I said Carmine secured all rights to the name. Carmine would be Vanilla, and Gary would be fudge. And I handed him a commemorative Plate of Fudge!
"Shine on! Gooker believes everything I say. Sometimes, I must confess, I am so jealous of not being on stage with Boko Haram, and my band NEVER opening for them, that I need a sneaky little bit of japery so I don't pop my beret. Funny thing is, Gooker had a magnum of champagne and ate every bit on his plate, considering it a fine, fine dessert! Never underestimate what happens when he drinks!"
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