Willem Dafoe goes Caitlyn Jenner in $5 MILLION Garbage Ad

A post mortem on the Super Bowel. There are always three reviews after it's over: the game and halftime show and the commercials.

Consensus was the game was close enough to be interesting, Beyonce and Bruno Mars were FAB during halftime, and the commercials sucked.

Most of the commercials simply relied on a familiar star grinning and pointing to a car, or a bucket of chicken. The creepiest was Willem Dafoe in a dress, pretending to be Marilyn Monroe (and somehow needing a Snickers bar to feel sexy and energetic). I will tell you this: the only thing MORE nauseating than Dafoe in a dress IS a Snickers bar.

Dafoe, huh? Dafooey. And aren't we all TIRED of tranny shit? Tranny is the new Nigga? Every movie, every TV show has to be about a transsexual? You know something's trendy when a Kardashian leaps on it, and after keeping himself in the closet for decades, that's what Brucie Jenner did. LEAPED on it.

I was disgusted, not amused, to learn how much a fucking 30 second Super Bowel commercial cost:

The biggest jeers went to the "Colonial Willamsburg" tourist board for a glaringly obnoxious ad. (A faded celebrity, retired news reader Tom Brokaw did the narration for it).

I checked it out and yeah, it WAS pretentious AND in poor taste.

For 30 seconds, events in American history were played...BACKWARD. Let's fast forward BACKWARD through such milestones as V-Day, and Kennedy being elected, and Martin Luther King giving a speech, and go back to "where it all began." Let's rewind back to where it all began: Colonial Williamsburg?!?!?!

These shills pretend the story of America didn't begin when the Puritans landed on Plymouth Rock? How about Indian reservations that you can visit? How about Philadephia where you can see the Liberty Bell, or Boston where Paul Revere rode through town and Bunker Hill still stands, or New York where George Washington bid farewell to his soldiers?

What a bad joke that American history re-winds to fucking WILLIAMSBURG, Pennsylvania, a quasi-Amish tourist trap. Big fuckin' deal. In Massachusetts, Connecticut and New York you can find earlier buildings, old churches, restored town squares, and mansions that include grinding mills and stockades and "what it was like to live without electricity." You don't have to be stuck in the middle of nowhere in fucking Williamsburg to see a boring town full of that crap. (Which is why they decided to pay FIVE MILLION plus expenses to place the ad!)

The big gaffe was that in offering a video time-machine the commercial included a glimpse of the World Trade Towers, gashed open and about to fall. Gee, thanks. The idea was to remind us there were tragedies along our road to freedom.

Guess what, every fucking DAY is a tragedy now. The Williambsurgers should've just said, "Hey, are you sick of Niggas? Tired of jabbering Asians and Paki idiots? Drive to fucking Williamsburg and see white college kids in costumes giving lectures on how to make soap. Imagine a time when there was no Craigslist or Ashley Madison site and you'd get a Scarlet Letter if you fucked around!"

One good thing is that unlike BLOWIE, people stop talking about the Super Bowel the day after it's ended. And today IS the day.