Bill and friends wear their DIAPERS at the chicken processing plant

Good and Bad news.

The bad news: Hoobastank Limited has gone bankrupt, unable to sell Shauna's songs anywhere. Bill also couldn't get Amy work as an audio book reader.

The good news: Bill and the gang have a new gig, cleaning chickens!

"The plant doesn't allow for bathroom breaks," big fat Amy admits, "but Bill's been wearing adult diapers for a long time, and he told us we'd get used to crapping and peeing in ours, and we have!"

The pay is sort of chicken shit, but what can totally untalented people do?

"I used to work as a librarian," Bill gurgled, "but my loud farts disturbed people reading. I also took off too many days going to take pictures of tombstones, and sniffing around memorabilia conventions for old actresses."

As to strapping Shauna and Amy into adult diapers, Bill adds, "I only wish I could help them, but they won't let me. Shauna has guyyysss who do it for her. She's discovered that piss and shit work better than shaving cream when it comes to keeping those pesky pubic hairs away. And Amy's got several workmen who have fork lifts and other special equipment to hoist and change her."

Strange as it may seem in this day and age, some workers DO have to wear diapers because they simply are not allowed very much time off the assembly line!

Bill insists, "Adult diapers aren't such a burden. I work in them, I go to memorabilia shows in them. I even dance in them. I love to do my Morris Dance, waving my arms, waddling around, and when I'm done, I usually have to stand still, spread my legs and drop a load."

Shauna giggles: "I've taught Bill how to do the Irish dance where you only move your legs. Bill keeps his hands at his sides. That makes it so easy to slap him in the face!"

Shauna has promised to sing a cover version of an instrumental Irish dance and post it to GooTube. Due to fears of earthquakes, Irish dancing has been forbidden to Amy.