EUROTRASH BLURRED VISION & DRUNKEN RED NOSE DAY - USA!

Oh, lucky AMERICA.

This year, the EUROTRASH VISION fest will offer no-talents from ridiculous and backward countries and..."it's being broadcast in the USA!"

Mmm, as Bill Clinton might ask, "what's your definition of being? What's your definition of broadcast?"

It seems to merely be streaming on their website. It's NOT, to my knowledge, ACTUALLY being broadcast on a major network or even one of the hundreds of minor ones on cable.

The Eurotrash, who wouldn't want to be in their Pee-ewww Union, and live their lifestyle: aping what Timberlake or Adele have already done, or offering pale, epileptic versions of Beyonce. Their website is SO compelling: some kind of dopey "fun" contest and a human interest story about a wild and crazy couple who like to WALK A DOG! Did they name it something unique, like "Muffin?"

We're supposed to get behind the "talent" from Croatia? Russia? Hungary? Countries that pirate the GOOD music from the UK and USA? Countries that snicker "Copyright is Copy WRONG?"

The big deal is that media-pimp Justin Timberlake has come out of "retirement" (gee, two whole years) to flog a song he wrote for some cartoon movie. He apparently wrote it with some of the creepy Swedes who write a lot of pop garbage (this goes back to the days of ABBA). Hey, EUROTRASH, do you know Pirate Bay is STILL running? FUCK SWEDEN.

I fast-forwarded through the finals last year, and didn't find anybody talented. The songs were all bland. Graham Norton's "cheeky" introductions were barely nose-tweaks.

But speaking of nose-tweaks, last year's "RED NOSE DAY" did well enough to be brought back on NBC, with all the usual media-whore "stars" racing to get their faces in front of the cameras "for a good cause." That good cause is getting their faces in front of the cameras. As if we don't see enough of cheesy old "look at me, I'm an elfin lesbian" Ellen Degeneres.

No, the world doesn't exactly need MORE useless "raise money for charity" events. First off, these charities WASTE most of the money they get. Second, suffering is not confined to over-breeding monkeys overseas. You know who never gets a penny? Middle-class and lower-middle class people who discover Medicare and Medicaid suck, and are stuck in clinics and bad hospitals losing the will to live.

The worst thing about RED NOSE DAY is the fucking RED NOSES. The event has a corporate sponsor, the biggest drugstore chain, and every time you go into one of their big generic garish stores, you're assaulted with eye-gouging banners and posters demanding that you BUY A RED NOSE. Unlike most TV telethons that yell at you while you're watching to "pick up a phone" this fucking show is preceded by weeks of BUY A RED NOSE.

I haven't seen any morons walking around looking like Barry Grooker (drunk with a red nose) or just an obnoxious CLOWN, but I wouldn't be surprised if dimwits in offices aren't buying these things to call attention to themselves. Oh, how hilarious, everybody in the accounting department is wearing RED NOSES! Har har! After all, they bought the NEW YEAR'S EVE glasses, and the ST. PATRICK'S DAY plastic green hat...people LOVE to call attention to themselves.

Another corporate sponsor is M&M (the candy, not the white trash rap retard). Big companies that raise prices (how much is a bag of M&M's now, a dollar?) love to pretend to be big-hearted. That's the scam and sham of these events. It's not about charity at all, it's about good publicity: "M&M's supports poor people in foreign lands!" How about diabetics in hospitals who ate your lousy candy?

One thing both events have in common is they are run by pinheads for pinheads. What kind of contestant in Armenia is going to do ridiculous Madonna 1985 dance movies and sing a dimwit disco-thumping tune? Only a pinhead. Who'd be amused and be clapping? Only a pinhead. Who the fuck wants to see Ellen Degeneres smirking and blinking in prime time? Only a pinhead.

We are breeding pinheads more and more. It's called the Zika virus. Niggas gave us the AIDS epidemic via Africa, and the spics have given us ZIKA via Brazil. Do we thank them? Of course not. We look the other way and pretend their filthy lifestyles didn't cause it, and we scream, "Come aboard our planes, fly all over the world spreading your disease."

The first American woman has just been diagnosed. She will give birth to a pinhead, if she doesn't abort.

NOT TO WORRY...put on a RED NOSE, donate all your money, and self-righteously declare, "I did my part in finding a cure to Zika." Oh, wait, your money is going to Habib in Syria, so he can fly to London and join the million Muslims there. Your money is going to some kiddie charity run by people who take a salary and pay themselves to fly around the world staying in fine hotels and giving speeches and handing out press releases. Your money is going to selected groups who know people in the charity, like, "Oh, my cleaning woman says the school her eight children attend could use drums so they can sing native songs in assembly class each week. Let's give $10,000 for THAT...."

Spring is here, stupidity is in the air, and it's streaming on the Internet and it's on NBC.