FAT PEOPLE got no reason...to be encouraged

Sit down, fatty. Just sit the fuck down.

Don't even try to get up. Especially not up on stage.

Just sit in front of the TV and stuff your ugly gob with chips.

Here's a pair of tubs I didn't need to see on Britain's Got Talent...

This is why there's radio.

Who the fuck needs to SEE ugly fat dunces like this? Not only were they doing nothing interesting except braying that Andrew Lloyd Wombat crap...they were...and are...UGLY AND FAT. In fact that's what they should've called themselves...

Ant and Dec introduces..."Two symbols of England and Ireland...UGLY AND FAT..."

Back in the days of radio, a fatty like William Conrad could actually play cowboy hero Marshal Matt Dillon. How wonderful for him. Nobody cared that he was a tub. When it came time to cast the TV version, the part went to James Arness.

NOW? Now we've got so many fucking obese morons in the UK and USA that we're all supposed to think this is normal.

It is NOT. It's ugly, it's disgusting, and it's unhealthy.

I was a huge fan of huge Harry Secombe. He was a great Goon and a fine Mr. Bumble in "Oliver." You do need a few fat people around. But a) he and the other Goons made jokes about his weight which he knew was too much, and b) he didn't represent a majority of the population, which is the situation now. Today it's a junk food-eating world and people are proud to be slobby. They let themselves go and don't give a damn about themselves...or YOU if you happen to be trying to get around them at a buffet, or getting a sliver of park bench on a sunny day.

There's a Jill Sobule song where she complains that her lover is mean: "You rant and you rave wishing fat folks to their grave. I feel sorry for them. You say they get what they deserve."

No, it doesn't quite rhyme. But I strongly identify with the meanie. You see some fat-ass coming towards you to sit next to you on a bus and make you suffocate in the folds of their flubber...you damn well wish they were dead! And that heart attack at 50...they get what they deserve.

The only part of Jill's song I don't care for, is the idea that she'd be singing it to ME, and I'd be her boyfriend. No thanks.

Happily, she's a lesbian. And I've already got a girl. Win win.

Back to FAT AND UGLY. There used to be a time when it was possible to feel sorry for a fatty. It might be a glandular problem. It might be a neurosis. If it could produce an Oliver Hardy, Orson Welles, Raymond Burr or Zero Mostel, fine.

Now, we've just got a whole bunch of blubbery whales taking up space and hanging out of their clothing. This PC-world we live in makes it impossible to even say, "Lose some weight. Get healthy." Ooooh, that's an INSULT to FAT PEOPLE.

Yeah? Here's an insult to fat people: You Moby Dicks are taking up too much space. You're selfish and obnoxious and grotesque. Take it down a few sizes. BLIMPS. Why the fuck do you order TWO Whoppers at Burger King? Why the supersized chips? Why the gigantic slab of cake with ice cream on top? That's just hedonistic piggery. Too bad a pig trough couldn't be your coffin...you're too fucking fat.