Yoo hoo, LOU WHO??

One of the interesting things about Internet downloading, is you do get to see ALL the TV from other countries. This means that tapping into England, we can see most any popular show, not just "Downton Fucking Abbey." I can get Sky Sports and Box Nation and see guys who are champs but don't get on chauvinistic American TV, like Burns or Crolla. Rawling is a very good announcer, by the way. One of the best.

It's possible to "enjoy" such dubious but standard Britfare as Jonathan Woss, Graham Ignorton, "Britain Hasn't Got Much Talent," and yes, the "X-crement Factor."

It's interesting, seeing strangers that another country considers STARS. Sometimes, it's baffling. Jonathan is the best the Brits can do? He's always been mediocre. He gets off a witty ad-lib very rarely. He's a lummox. He's not nearly as edgy as he thinks he is, and he lobs easy questions much more often than he throws a wicked one. Graham? He has personality. You can see why he's on TV.

But LOUIS WALSH?? I first saw this twit as a substitute judge on "BGT," lauded with "great to have you" back-slapping from various dubious idiots (like David Walliams who is almost as inexplicable as James Corden for being as big as he is).

What did Walsh do? Nothing. He was the autistic version of Ernie Wise. He was, to be generous, an old and very senile elf. So what was he, I asked myself, an old vaudeville singer or something?

Turns out he's just a "manager," responsible for British boy bands nobody in America knows.

Somehow, his friendly rival Slimy Towel put him on "X Factor" and "BGT" as some kind of favor? Some way that the two of them could be like Hitler and Mussolini and "share" the overflowing shit-pot of money?

Being on a game show, he can get away with it. On a real sitcom or drama, you better have talent and personality. Even if I got bored with "Rising Damp" I could see why the guy was popular. I could easily feel comfortable with Lyndhurst on that stupid "After You've Gone" show. But chat shows (daytime or night time) and game shows seem to give a free pass to mediocrity. Walsh? WALSH?

The current hoary panel for "X Factor" is, with the exception of WALSH, desperately flogging the old formula: give the public loudmouth personalities or eye candy.

Simon will be Simon, Sharon will be Sharon and there's a glamour-cunt to take the mind off how ugly everyone else is. On "Britain's Got Talent" they have TWO glamour-cunts to balance Simon and Walliams. In America, they also have two glamour-cunts to balance Howard Stern (now replaced by COWELL!) and Howie Mandell: aging Teutonic twat Heidi Klum and an ethnic loudmouth ex-Spice Girl. The charisma is there, even if you loathe them.

But LOU WALSH??? He's like the bread sticks standing around amid an exotic meal and unusual appetizers. What's the point of this stale, colorless, bland THING?