Tuesday, December 6, 2016

APPLE is NUTS - Fiona Apple Bombs as a Donald Trump Parodist

"It's not funny I tell you!" 

It's also not witty, not sharp, and not even sane. 

Fiona Apple is apparently in need of an ankle monitor, and should be watched as carefully as they do Sinead O'Connor. 

On hearing that she wrote up a parody of the Mel Torme "Christmas Song," I thought, oh, she's in the real world, she's using her fame to create a protest as sharp as some of those early songs she did about being a tough chick who can hurt sappy guys. 

Er, no. She is NOT in the real world. When Shauna Cuntwell's videos are more professional than yours, SOMETHING IS WRONG.

Fer fucking Chrissake, she can't even stay in focus and in front of the fucking camera.


When she IS in front of the camera, you wish she wasn't. 


The bitch is almost impossible to understand, and her soft, flat voice, singing a-ca-Johnny Dork, is very creepy. She needs a better microphone and some backing musicians. On her own, she sounds like she's in a closet in a mental ward.


Remember when she was sort of...ATTRACTIVE? 39...her age AND her IQ these days? This is just so pathetic. You hate to see once-famous performers acting out with no guidance, manager, agent or common sense. 

The lyrics: 




There are so many ways a professional comedian or satirist could skewer Trump. Poor Fiona hasn't a clue. She could've concentrated on the "Grab the pussy" line, and won some sympathy as a rape survivor. Nope, she babbles some lines about Trump being anti-black. Really? When he's made blazing headlines for his remarks about Muslims and Mexicans? 

Trump isn't George Zimmerman. In fact, he made a pandering point during debates about how violent the Chicago ghetto has become, and how he wants to do something about it. 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, the end result here is that this raises an alarm on what the fuck is wrong with Fiona Apple. There are hundreds of thousands of Donald Trump cartoons, sketches and jokes, but there's only one Fiona, and she needs to take care of herself.

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