FUCK YOU VLC AND YOUR SANTA HAT

Say you want to ESCAPE the hype of Christmas, and watch some porn from Jenna before she became a Yenta.

WHOOPS. What the fuck is THAT icon??

VLC has changed from their usual orange traffic cone, to a fucking CANDY CANE cone with a fucking SANTA HAT ON IT.

You take a look in your dock, and THERE IT IS. And there's NO WAY of getting it to to revert, is there?

Want to spend six hours in a forum asking, "How do I get an ICON to NOT wear a Santa hat?"

Rather than merely show you the VLC Santa Claus image, I added a typical sacrilege...some whore slut bitch in a Santa hat with a candy cane up her twat.

There's all too much of this Christmas porn around, and what IS the point of it? WHO the fuck is turned on by idiotic Christmas outfits? There's a limit to the snickers over seeing a porn Santa getting blown, or lying around drunk and naked except for his goddam hat.

Tell me this bitch wouldn't look a lot sexier WITHOUT THE HAT!

But back to VLC, Vulgar Lousy Cunts.

Isn't it also a little spooky that a device you THINK is simply on your fucking computer, and NOT attached to some mysterious stranger on the Internet, is in fact controlled by some mysterious stranger on the Internet?

Oh, good thing whoever is running VLC is such a GOOD CHRISTIAN.

This fucking SANTA HAT is going to stay on the VLC symbol for a WEEK. Thanks. NOT.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, one of the few GOOD things about Christmas, is that some of the oh-so-Christian forums where they ignore the "THOU SHALT NOT STEAL" commandment, are offering FREE LEECH. Yes, that includes PORN torrent sites. The downside is that to play this AVI and MKV shit, you need a VLC run by some Jesus freak of a fuckhead.

IF I'M STILL BEING HONEST, it's also a good thing that the Internet means you can shop on line and avoid stores. As an esteemed and pressed and depressed colleague noted, there's nothing more devilish than being squashed among corpulent coughing Christians on a bus. You escape the bus but they follow you into every store, blocking the aisles, making you listen to the shitty Christmas music the store plays, making you wait and wait at the checkout.

How about some of us who shop online, BUT have errands that take us out into the crowded shop-loony world? With everybody in a frantic greed-hunt to buy shit, every sidewalk is crowded (ooh, Christmas tree sellers don't help). Mass transit is a mass of dumb-ass humanity. An irony here is that some places are empty. Like the doctor's or dentist's office. Nobody's making an appointment when they could be OUT SHOPPING.

But...go to the dentist, have NO waiting time at all, spend a literally irritating and stressful hour there, and then it's a struggle getting home. The sidewalk is packed. The BUS is packed. The bus slowly lurches to a stop every two blocks to take on MORE MORONS. The bus moves slower because of the heavy traffic. The bus is delayed even more because the morons don't know how to step onto a bus, how to pay the fare quickly, and how to get out of the way so others can get on. "Move to the back!" the driver says, and the idiots barely shuffle an inch.

The bus is so packed you're lucky if you are seated. Not so lucky when some fat load sits next to you. You're hearing idiots all around. You might even smell them. You see some monsters you wouldn't want to glance at in Madame Tussaud's. The jerk next to you either starts coughing, or starts fussing, or...no, you are NOT taking out your fucking cellphone. Christ, you're going to start babbling, aren't you?

Oh, here's a twist. You're going on line to the CNN website, and getting the news. Oooh, somebody droning about the latest Trump idiocy. That's JUST what I want to have to be distracted by. Of course you don't have an earphone attached, so you have the NERVE to play a mini-TV set on a bus. THANKS.

What happens when a bus is overcrowded and people are standing? They turn into zombies and do not hear the two words, "EXCUSE ME" or "GETTING OFF."

YOU stand up and leave your uncomfortable seat one stop early. You make your way behind people getting off, and after they push and shove to actually leave the bus, you are now a lot closer to the door. But not THAT close, because a lot of zombies make it a point of standing at the exit even though they aren't getting off for an HOUR or more. They just LOVE to stand near the exit and zone out like zombies do.

The next stop comes up, and you do the "EXCUSE ME" and "GETTING OFF" and these zombies don't move. Or, they move VERY slowly. You don't want to be carried off to the next stop, so you move forward, propelled by people behind you who ALSO want to get off this fucking cattle car.

Now a fat zombie twat comes to life, and glares, and stays in the way and says, "There's no need to PUSH ME. Just WAIT a minute, will you?"

With your blood pressure at nearly geyser level, you finally twist, turn, and halfway stumble out of the bus. Now you're a Nigga in 1964, shouting, "Free at last, LAWDY, FREE AT LAST!" Right as you walk into that display of Christmas trees clotting the sidewalk.