Shauna Swallows...GRIMSBY GIRLS DON'T

Another contest that Cilla Blackledge claims The Grimsby Telegraph was running? "Cumshot Of the Year."

She explains:

"The Grimsby editors are so used to giving plugs to bad restaurants, they don't know the difference between fish and chips and shit and piss. I think both the male and female staffers have taken cum loads in the face. It's the Grimsby way. While Shauna Cuntwill is notorious for swallowing, the fashion in Grimsby is to WEAR IT."

When Cilla's days of contributing to the "Tell-a-Laugh" ended, she took her portfolio of Grimsby cumshot girls with her.

Their loss is our gain.

The three finalists!

First: Jill TZ.

"She only used the first two letters of her odd Polish name," says Cilla. "Sad story, this. She met a guy named Hans in an internet forum, and he swore that he'd ONLY cum in HER face. Well, it turned out he was splooging just about every twit and twat in the forum. Poor Jill. She's never gotten over it. In fact she shut down the forum, and has shut her mouth. She won't blow anyone OR let anyone wank in her face. So this is a very historic photo! It's the death knell for Jill's facials!

Second: Maisie Rebel

This cheerful imbecile thinks it's just hilarious the way a penis suddenly spurts out a load of goo. She can't get enough of these downloads. She was notorious for not even keeping track of the downloads. She'd crawl out of a bar sopping with penile suds, laughing like a hillbilly after chugging a pint of Jack Daniels. She chugged Jack's, Daniel's, and everybody's. Here, she laughs off the cries of "Drunken white trash whore," as she pisses into a garbage bucket.

Third: Poppy Popup

She calls herself Poppy Popup because she is always ready when a dick pops up, and then pops off. "Le cum," as she calls it (she's French) gets her into a lather. Here, she wears a load from her boyfriend Pinocchio (so named for having a stuff that grows big every time she sucks him off or plays Ye-Ye girl 60's singles on her boom box). The cum obscures her little lip tattoo of a black butterfly.

Poppy likes having semen shot into her mouth, or as close to it as possible. Pinocchio once got hard three times in one night, and plastered her mouth three times with almost equal puddles of semen. Magnifique! "Every time hitting my mouth," she marvels. She says it was Deja Vu.