Wha? That dewwwwwd Nick Valensi isn't so kewwwwwl

Ever hear of Nick Valensi?

Care about The Strokes? He's got a new band, CRX, and to promote it, the whores at fag Wenner's rag gave him space to mewl his kewl dewwwdness about "Great Songs by Guitarists."

Considering HE hasn't written any, how is he any kind of judge?

The interesting thing about Nick's list is that it's actually NOT loaded up with Millennials. He respects da Nigga (Peter Tosh) and old Keith Richards, and pays homage to the real deal punks of an earlier age (ewww, Johnny Thunders...the coolest).

And wha...he even mentions a fuddy-duddy like George Harrison? And NOT for any song he wrote while he was in The Beatles? Nice...except he's not exactly an expert is he?

Little Dewd Profundity starts off by saying, "He had to separate himself from the Beatles to find out who he was." Errr, tell me Diddums, did your high school English teacher tell you that?

Poor George, he had "to find out who he was." So says Nick the Dick.

Oh, right on, Nicky. George couldn't even sign an autograph because he had no idea who he was, and therefore couldn't spell his own name. Somehow, he was on stage in the most famous rock band in the history of the world, and had girls screaming his name. It just didn't register until after McCartney went solo and he followed. While in The Beatles, George wrote "Don't Bother Me" which was a good statement of ego, wasn't it? He also wrote "Something," which was probably the second-most covered Beatles ballad, behind "Yesterday." But he had no idea who he was, says Nick.

Despite forging a new direction in the group by using sitar, and critics considering him the hero of both the "White Album" and "Abbey Road," and the fact that on the last albums, each individual was allowed to write and almost self-produce his particular songs, "he had to separate himself." Sure. Nick Valensi KNOWS. He was THERE.

PS, what about "Electronic Sounds?" That was George ACTUALLY separating himself from The Beatles (the same way John did when he joined Yoko for "Two Virgins"). But Nick thinks "Wah-Wah" is something radically different from a Beatles song!

Next line (let's not tax the attention span by having him write more than two sentences per entry). "It's so dope he wrote a song about a guitar pedal."

Ha ha ho ho hee hee. Yeah, if anyone knows DOPE, it's THIS weasel-faced little turdlet. Are you sure it was DOPE? Don't you mean it was SICK? We know you're to kewl to just say AWESOME.

Most everyone on the planet except Millennials and NICK VALENSI knows that "Wah Wah" was George's symbolic, almost baby-like cry of pain. More specifically, a fuckin' headache. "You've given me a wah-wah."

Did the song actually USE a wah-wah pedal? No, it did not. But a dewd who is kewl is gonna ass-ume to know it allllllll.

Tell you what, icky Nick, go over to WIKIPEDIA, for example, and read this:

"The lyrics reflect his frustration with the atmosphere in the group at that time – namely, Paul McCartney's over-assertiveness and criticism of his guitar playing, John Lennon's lack of engagement with the project and dismissal of Harrison as a songwriter, and Yoko Ono's constant involvement in the band's activities."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wah-Wah_(song)

George, who was pissed off that Paul was dictating guitar work on the "Let it Be" album, directed "Wah-Wah" not at a happy funky piece of crap lying on a stage amongst the cables and wires, but at Paul: "Harrison later confirmed a suggestion made by music journalist Timothy White that, just like Lennon's "How Do You Sleep?" and "Crippled Inside", the song was a "swipe" at McCartney.

To give poor icky-Nicky a little pat on the top of his pointed head, there's this:

"In his autobiography, I, Me, Mine, Harrison explains that the song title was a reference to "a 'headache' as well as a footpedal"...The message of the song, according to Harrison, was: "you're giving me a bloody headache."

George did NOT give the song to The Beatles, even though he wrote it during the "Let it Be" sessions. He probably knew Paul would see through it as an insult, and that John would be annoyed as well. "Let it Be" had "I Me Mine" on it, which was waltzed up not by Paul but by John's pal Phil Spector. As for "For You Blue," that's almost an embarrassment, sans any wah-wah pedal but instead relying on an anemic blues pattern. It doesn't help to hear the preposterous, "Elmore James ain't got nothing on THIS." No, and he would've called it what it was: nothing.

An irony is that "Wah-Wah" turned out to be as over-produced as anything Phil Spector ever did, and quite capable of giving anyone listening a headache.

In every issue of fag Wenner's increasingly embarrassing and anorexic-thin mag, there's a sad, sad page telling morons what they should listen to, as well as giving some self-promoting twit a chance to make a list.

You'll note that almost NONE of the "PLAYLIST" picks are from normal, intelligent musicians. They're from rap niggas and misshapen sluts. We learn that some simian "splays helium soul all over a rubbery p-funk groove." What? No mention of the favorite Rolling Stone reviewer word "crunk?" Ah, we do get "killer freestyle" in referring to gruesome Nicki Minaj, their idea of a musical genius. We're also told another fave song is "crinkly." And the fag-favorite Flaming Lips are given the rave of "AWESOME." Wah-wah indeed.