Rolling Stones - Exhibitionism Going Cheap

Tiny Todger and the Cackling Drunk made the cover of Rolling Stone. We're all supposed to be impressed with a COVERS album. But how many Stones fans own a single album by Muddy Waters? Howling Wolf? ANY of those guys? Very few. 

Because it was the synthesis of obscure black music with British sensibility that made something unique. The Stones and the Beatles didn't sound like Howling Wolf or Chuck Berry, and neither did Lonnie Donegan. So, as has been said many times, "FUCK that stuff. Eric, YOU can listen to Robert Johnson, but Robert Johnson didn't write LAYLA." 

But I digress, already.

Naturally with THE BOYS, anything they do is full of promotion and $$ signs, and so aside from the fabulous concert in the desert, with Bob and Macca and Neil and the Nazi Roger, they have assembled some kind of MUSEUM. This goes with the album promotion, and the usual teases about a new tour or new REAL album of new material. 

You're supposed to go to some storefront or warehouse they took over. It's in the fashionable WEST Village (not near the punk tourist attractions like "Oh, that's where CBGB's used to be." After taking a bus to the subway to the museum, you're supposed to stand around goggle-eyed and googling at COSTUMES. And what else, signed contracts? Photos? Hmmm, seems like they aren't selling out on this sell-out.

The "papering" companies that offer discount tickets are lopping more than a tenner off the ridiculous asking price for this dopey show. 

Christ, take a look at that cheesy bunch. Yes, give 'em credit for still being alive and functioning after all these years. They outlasted The Beatles (but not in quality) and really, since The Who almost always sucked, what would be another 60's band of credible music and longevity? The Kinks?? Still, the act has worn thin. Mr. Cackles is a self-parody. Tiny Todger is kind of a bore, Charlie never said anything anyway, and Wood is just a minor version of Keith with his self-serving smirks and his under-age girlfriends. Jagger-Richards remains the core of the group and since that accounts for the lyrics, singing and the trademark guitar, what IS the point of Ronnie? Was his Faces stuff that good? Any of his solo stuff? 

So what would be worth even $29 to see? Unless they took a photo of Marianne and the candy bar, forget it. Anyone re-running "Cocksucker Blues" over and over? 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I've played "Satanic Majesties" once in a while, and that's about it. In a nostalgic mood, maybe the Greatest Hits, but one or two cuts is enough. Part of it is that the hits are so familiar you can play 'em in your head, and the rest...a lot of it was so half-hearted and phony, wasn't it? "Emotional Rescuuuuuuuu." You might even say "Miss You" was just a parody of disco. Maybe you want to play one of those later albums while cleaning the house or jogging the treadmill. I have "Mixed Emotions," about playing what was a good but not great rock song.  

Ripley's Believe it or Not or even the dreaded Madame Tussaud would seem to be a much better bang for the money. And does anyone even remember the songs on that BANG album the band made about 10 years ago? Smirk all you want about Macca or even Elton, but for a strutting, smug band that prides itself on surviving and being as great as ever, their recorded output in the past 20 years has not been impressive. 

$42 down to $29 down to...really, I wouldn't go for a FIVERRRRR, Shauna.