NPR - Now Pretty Rotten

At one time, National Public Radio (npr.org) was staid and dry. They played mostly classical, and otherwise, you'd listen to people droning about the arts or politics. 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, a lot of literature is designed to be read. You look, and concentrate. You try to listen to it, and you're lost. Having NPR taking a break from classical, to offer somebody droning through a short story or an essay...excruciating. 

Most poetry is that way, too, with the exception of intentionally conversational items like "Gunga Din," written the way a person talks. With the exception of "story poems," most poetry just doesn't work well unless you can SEE it and follow along.  

At this point NPR, both the broadcasting part and the website, must sink lower and lower to survive. Classical music is tolerated, jazz a bit more prevalent, but they're spending a lot more time taking RAP seriously. 

Like most websites, they luring listeners to the website with the promise of FREEEEEEEE.

Come and listen to our website jukebox FREEEEEEEE.

Oh dear.

Really, I do NOT enjoy sounding like an OLD PERSON, like our parents or grandparents. But to me, almost all RAP "songs" sound alike. Yes, in the old days, adults complained that all Big Band music sounded alike, or all rock music. And it was all NOISE. But rap IS mostly NOISE, and there's nothing much behind it.

It's some sullen nigga whining about shit, or some obnoxious nigga boasting about shit. What do rappers care about? Moping that they're black and aren't respected (except they're making a fortune and can be sneakers that cost more than a car). If they aren't moping about how much they MATTER, they're boasting about how much they SPLATTER...either firing a cap into somebody's ass, or spraying sperm in some ho's face. 

The "beats" are the same, the nursery-rhyme cadence is the same, and the lyrics are moronic. 

I'm supposed to be impressed because a nigga gets away with rhyming South and Mouse, or Shit with Bitch? Maybe I'm supposed to be impressed with ghetto-speak. Chuck Berry invented words ("I was motorvatin' over the hill") and some rappers do the same. 

"Yo, you tink I'm just some black dancer? I won't nigrify yo' complaint wid an answer." (I just made that up, yo. But if somebody named DaShawn Dogg-Mutha wrote it, NPR would be doing cartwheels, knocking over some lattes at a table at Starbucks.)

Yeah, I actually tried to listen to these predictable monkeys and their "song," but quit after about 20 seconds. I mean, LOOK at them. The Three Nigga Stooges of Cliche. One of them is doing some idiotic finger-pointing, wearing a MEME shirt, and looking angry. The other two are self-satisfied shit-faced wastes of space. All of them is slaves...slaves to FASHION. Slaves to lookin' ghetto. Slaves to rappin' the same way everybody else does. Nothing new here. Not at all. PS, there's a band called The Roots, and "Third Root" is a bit imitative, isn't it? And some asshole calling himself Da'Shade Moonbeam? Isn't that as bad as the days when "Rock Hudson" lead to "Tab Hunter" and "Touch Connors?" 

Sure, "LISTEN" for FREEEEEEE to ten songs, and all you've done is waste an hour of your life. What's even more pathetic is that few of the items chosen are from indie or unknown artists. Dyan apparently would be one of the few who isn't established, but her stuff is very commercial and boring. The rest? They've been around, some have been on major labels and a few still ARE on major labels. 

Gee, NPR, maybe you'd care to go over to CD Baby and see what the wretches over there have uploaded into the void? Maybe do some legwork (er, eye-work and ear-work) and plow through YouTube foraging for a find? Imagine how delighted some artist would be to get a plug on NPR! But no, give it to A Tribe Called Quest instead. 

Select an artist that Orchard has uploaded and that has only gotten 10 or 20 hits? Nah, it's easier to go promote the newest from "Phife Dawg," from A Tribe Called Quest. Huh? Yo? It is what it is? 

The only track that was tolerable was from Tift, and IF I'M BEING HONEST, her cutie-pie voice and "slurred" singing style still require a hook melody and good lyrics, and neither seem to be present on her chosen lead track from the new album. 

Yeah, NPR, it's all FREEEEEEE, and worth the price.