The Feel Bad Story of the Christmas Season!

If you think "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is Christmas cheer, how about this?

Mrs. Santa Claus got killed, and Santa was injured.

'Twas the week before Christmas, and Santa and Mrs. Claus were off making public appearances for the kiddies. They were listening to all the greedy wishes the kiddies had. "Santa bring me...."

Only instead of a sleigh, and reindeer, Santa and Mrs. Claus drove along the road and into a ditch.

Let's stop right here for a moment.

Why mention a sad story like this? To counter all the sappy NICE ones.

The papers have been full of "warm your heart" heartburn stories of celebrities calling attention to themselves by volunteering an hour in a soup kitchen, or distributing warm clothing to deadbeat bums. All this, while "It's a most wonderful time of the year" is used for the soundtrack.

Yeah? First off, all the people full of the Christmas spirit go back to being bastards the other 11 months of the year.

For a VERY short time, they watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and listen to Bing Crosby records, and maybe buy a few extra boxes of cheap candy as "stocking stuffers" for the mailman or the newspaper boy.

For every "nice" story of generosity or charity, you could find TEN awful ones.

There's really no great answer for "Why do bad things happen to good people," or why some geezer playing Santa Claus, ends up with broken bones and the loss of his wife.

If you printed out this story and brought it to your priest, what could he possibly say?

"The Lord moves in mysterious ways." "We can't know God's plan." "That naked boy hiding behind the bed is my nephew; I was about to give him a bath."

It's pretty strange when you have to rationalize something as awful as this story, by saying, "The lesson is to cherish each day." Or, "God was SO happy with Mrs. Claus, he brought her up to heaven. And, er, he left Santa down there as, er, uh, a lesson! The lesson is to have faith. To heal and continue being Santa. Yeah, that's it. And to know that eventually you'll be reunited with your wife in heaven!"

And you'll also get 60 virgins to fuck, because your wife is old and her twat is dry?

No, no, that's the Muslims' schtick, and it's crap, because we ALL know that after millions of years, God decided to put humans on the Earth. He was bored with dinosaurs, after all. He created Adam and Eve. He later got into a snit and flooded the Earth except for Noah and his family, and an ark that somehow included roaches, rodents, fleas, lice and pigs.

Wouldn't it be a better world if we simply believed in being good to each other because of the GOLDEN RULE, and not because of some invisible friend? Why invent a fucking Santa Claus, just to make him one of the first examples of a big LIE? Is that part of God's plan, too? "Invent this mythical benevolent Santa Claus, and then by the age of 8 or 9, have the kid feeling like an idiot for believing in it. But keep believing in God in all his glory..."

And nothing's more GLORIOUS than a couple playing Santa and Mrs. Claus driving off into a ditch in Des Moines.