Anti-Semite GARY OLDMAN snide apology REJECTED by ADL

"A town that's run by Jews," is how ignorant British twit GARY OLDMAN described Hollywood.

He did it in defense of psycho Mel Gibson, a ranting, raging lunatic who not only has an anti-Semitic father, and made a bizarre Jesus film, but is so unstable he was yelling at his own girlfriend to the point where she was afraid for her life.

Sure, Gary, we all get it. The part where you excuse a vicious drunk because he was drunk.

That's ALMOST acceptable except Gibson has never, EVER apologized for his anti-Semitic remarks or really disavowed himself from his rotten father.

Sure, Gary, we've all used "bad" words and we've ALL had moments grumbling "ALL" (fill in the race) stink, instead of the more PC "some of them" stink.

Nobody likes hypocrisy...but this ISN'T about hypocrisy. You might as well say no rapists should ever go to jail because so many guys have date-raped or forced some half-drunk girl at some time or other. You might as well say cheating on your wife isn't a crime, or cheating on your tax, or stealing a magazine out of your neighbor's mailbox. But if you get caught, YOU PAY. Gibson got caught.

But there's a good reason why your insincere apology was not accepted by the Anti-Defamation League.

Here's the reason, Gary: there are dangerous morons in the world.

They have weapons. They need a scapegoat. The Jews have been the target for 2,000 years...far more than anyone else. Blacks? Boo fuckin' hoo, they ate as many chunks of white meat as they could when the British and Dutch landed in Africa...but SOME of 'em ended up slaves for a few decades in America. And they've never let the world forget it, while rioting and murdering people just to drive the point home.

The Mexicans? Remember the Alamo.

Tyranny has been with us as long as there have been "humans." So the fucking Chinese fuck up the Tibetans. Irish fight the British. Lots of racial crap. And NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Homos have had some problems.

But the six million killed in Nazi Germany were mainly Jews. And all around the world, "Get thee OUT" has been the response...Get out of Germany. Poland. Russia. EVERYWHERE. Got a homeland? FUCK YOU, you DO NOT. That belongs to the Arabs, who already own all of the Middle East. Get out of that sliver of a sandbox, you fucking Jews.

You ask anyone who is Jewish...Jewish by BIRTH, Jewish by physical traits, not even Jewish by religion or a bar mitvah. Eventually they get it in the neck. It comes from the most unlikely people, sometimes, and sometimes, it comes with a reverse-racist spin: "Oh, of COURSE you're intelligent...you're Jewish." Which seems like a compliment but isn't.

Usually the Jew will end up with a punch in the nose, a venomous glare, a curt "no thank you" or "we're filled up" on the job application or at the landlord's office. You fuckin' have NO idea, Oldman. None.

It has not diminished, Gary. It's gotten worse, because the more powerful the Arab terrorists have become...the more animosity has been brought to bear on EVERY JEW ON THE PLANET.

Did the President of Iran say anything about wanting every Chinese, every Black, every Mexican off the planet? No, he wanted Israel "wiped off" the face of the globe.

SO, Mr. Oldman, you prove that an actor really needs a good script. And you ad-libbed.

Is it SO terrible to repeat the ridiculous remark that Jews run Hollywood?

Yes. Because it implies conspiracy. It implies something's SO wrong that it's made Mel Gibson go bonkers. Actually, even when Jews DID have a lot of ownership of the movie studios, they hired Gentiles. John Wayne, James Cagney, Marilyn Monroe, and on and on. And some studios, not run by Jews...like DISNEY...did NOT want any fuckin' kikes at all. PERIOD. If Uncle Walt knew you were a Hebe...you did not work for him.

The ADL rejected the Gary Oldman apology because it obviously was insincere, and he made it seem like he was being forced to say things he didn't believe in. In fact, several papers quoted him as muttering something about "The Jews really are the Chosen People," in a very sarcastic way.

Now let's just go to the facts. Last I checked, GENTILES controlled the entertainment world:

Lucian Grainge, the CEO of Universal Music
Kazuo Hirai, the CEO of Sony
Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon
Kevin Tsujihara the CEO of Warner Bros. Entertainment
Jeffrey Lawrence Bewkes, t he CEO of Time Warner
James N. Gianopulos, the ceo of Fox
Darcy Antonellis, the president of Warner Bros.
Wilmot Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix
Daniel Ek, the CEO of Spotify
Stephen Burke, CEO of NBC
Cesar Conde. executive Vice President of NBC Universal
Edward W. "Ted" Harbert III, chairman of NBC
Brian L. Roberts, CEO of Comcast
David Westin, CEO of American Broadcasting Company
Dick Costolo , CEO of Twitter
Steve Jobs, creator of Apple.

Are there ANY Jews in power? Well, there's Les Moonves, CEO of CBS, who hired away David Letterman, the Gentile.

There's Robert Iger, now the CEO of Disney, which doesn't make up for the years Disney was an anti-Semite's Dream Castle.

And there's fat Harvey Weinstein, who is better known for making "message" pictures promoting BLACK people. Or haven't you noticed that the box office is dominated by Will Smith, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington and if there's a white guy, it's DeNiro or Depp or Tom Hanks or that kike Leonardo DiCaprio. Or some fuckhead named GARY OLDMAN.

Kelly Osbourne Brain-dead Bint Gets Head Tattoo

She should get her head examined. Not tattooed.

Is there a day that some D-list dimwit isn't in the news for no reason at all?

Today it's Kelly Osbourne...who is...what...a nobody that plopped out of Sharon Osbourne's flappy vagina? Sometimes I lose track of these insignificant idiots and what nepotism or autism brought them in front of the pap-smear-azzi.

Look at this ugly stupid pea-brain:

The skag has a meaningless word STORIES tattooed into her retarded noggin, and she's grimacing and waving a Peace symbol??

Kel, let me put it in language you can understand:

You are an un-hip irritating twat-brained twit of a shitpile. If your father wasn't a well-known brain-damaged laughable idiot who bellowed one hit song 40 years ago, and if your mother hadn't used HIM to become a naggy, self-indulgent pain in the ass "TV personality," you'd just be some knocked-up bint in Croydon with multi-colored brats littering the floor.

How pathetic is it, to think that getting a tattoo is some defiant, hip act? EVERYONE has tattoos!

And look at that cockeyed spastic next to her! Hey, you're ASIAN, so you are NOT COOL. Period. You look like some excess tallow from Madame Tussaud's, you misshapen pile of chop suey.

It takes talent to print out STORIES? Svengarlic really thinks he's a master of anything but dung-foo by inking a brain-dead bitch with bad genes?

This was, unfortunately, far from the only revolting "entertainment" news. I've bypassed Justin Bieber's publicist pushing the news that "Brat Canada" is rushing off to be with his black boyfriend Floyd Mayweather and "comfort" him because some lemur in Mayweather's family got into a car crash.

I've bypassed a photo of the always disgusting Courtney Love doing a lesbian kiss with a woman even uglier than she is (if you can stomach that notion).

And I've bypassed the usual queasy and goggle-eyed coverage of whatever a Kardashian or a Jenner has done to boggle the feeble-minded. Not to mention the latest racist rant from pebble-headed bug-eyed no-talent Spike Lee.

The only GOOD thing about this wretched media whore is that she's momentarily taken my mind off the actual disgusting news NOT about the amusement world...three dead Jews kidnapped by Hamas assholes...

Also the miserable news that the U.S. Supreme Court (now stacked with conservative cocksuckers thanks to Dubya) ruled that if you work for a religious fanatic (the HOBBY LOBBY company) they can control your life. Hobby Lobby employees do NOT get health insurance coverage if they want to buy birth control pills. Nope, HOBBY LOBBY says "Get your white trash self pregnant, or abstain like a Good Christian...we ain't payin' fer no baby killin'."

And I'll leave it to somebody else to chew over the depressing news that eccentric singer-turned-painter Rolf Harris got convicted of molestation. No, he didn't actually fuck underaged girls, but he was quite an "octopus." His excuse is that he's just a "touchy-feely" kinda guy.

The world continues to become a more stupid and dangerous place.

Back to our story of the day...

Kel, your lame-brained cunt-breathed defiant grimace only screams "STOOOOOPID AND PROUD OF IT."

"Stories" huh? The best thing you can do is climb to the top of a building 40 STORIES high, and jump off.

GOLD BOND and PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA ENDORSE HATE SPEECH

Hey GOLD BOND, you racists.

Hey Papa John, you obnoxious, sneering and leering woman-hater.

Guess who buys your products? Ignorant people. Nazis. That's about it.

Comfortable with that?

You obviously are, because you sponsor RUSH LIMBAUGH.

Stupid swill like Honey Boo Boo isn't enough for you. Fox News doesn't float your boat?

You have to pat the back of a fat, pill-popping nasty opinionated divisive dipshit like Rush LIMBAUGH? Rush Limburger, the stinkiest conservative cocksucker on radio?

There's a big difference between being a conservative and being a cocksucker...being somebody with some stodgy point of view and being a stinker who regularly rips women, minorities, and appeals instead to every fat fuck and redneck jerk who has the hobby of toting a gun and/or a six-pack.

Intelligent people will buy their pizza from somebody besides Papa John's. They can find other power besides Gold Bond.

You guys could sponsor Bill O'Reilly...someone who at least is sane, isn't on drugs, and doesn't get a fiendish delight in belittling anyone who doesn't share his view. You don't HAVE to appeal to bottom feeding slobs who listen to Rush Limbaugh.

Face it, these are people who are so chafed and smelly and slovenly they'd NEVER use Gold Bond powder.

These are people so tasteless and stupid they'd just as soon eat roadkill on a used sanitary napkin than a Papa John's pizza with pepperoni.

(Papa John...your pizza ISN'T made out of used sanitary napkins and topped with road kill...is it??)

Well, GOLD BOND and PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA and you others...the tide is turning. The efforts to kick fat boy in his well-paid ass have been working. Sponsors of Rush Limbaugh have watched their names get dragged in the mud, and watched as discerning buyers find ANYTHING ELSE but YOUR junk to buy.

PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA? That shit is one step below 7-11, isn't it? I wouldn't wipe a menstruating dog's cunt with a slice.

(OK, why would I want to?)

GOLD BOND...aka CHATTEM a SANOFI company...

You can do better, and guess what, thousands and thousands who type in GOLD BOND or CHATTEM or SANOFI get ME and what I have to say about you assholes, because Blogspot is part of the GREAT GOOGLE...and you can't pay 'em enough to do anything about it.

http://www.goldbond.com

Maybe your site will one day have a message: "We do not condone frivolous, obnoxious hate speech as spewed by a blubbery windbag named Rush Limbaugh, who divides the country and can't reach audiences unless he sinks to roach level with his gleeful insults and pinheaded banter."

More and more people are going on Twitter and Facebook and on blogs and forums to denounce, and even libel and slander GOLD BOND and poopy PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA and anyone else that doesn't play fair and who applauds Rush Limbaugh and his smug hatred.

Millions of good Americans believe in Capitalism as the American Way. And they vote NOT to buy GOLD BOND and NOT to buy PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA and NOT to encourage the kind of narrow, specific, vicious garbage-mouthed hate speech that comes out of the asshole-mouth of Rush Limbaugh. Unlike Don Rickles or Joan Rivers, Limbaugh is no comedian, and he's not entertaining. His insults and nasty remarks are intended to hurt people. They aren't intended to provoke laughter, just lynchings. He encourages intolerance and his radio show is for bigoted idiots to feel good about themselves and then go out and scapegoat and abuse the particular minority groups and political people Rush Limbaugh tells them to hate. Limbaugh is just a bloated Hitler with a set of people and philosophies he regularly targets with hate speech.

THIS blog, by contrast, insults everyone equally!

ED SHEERIN - As Much of a Nobody as SAM SMITH

Who the FUCK plucks mediocre "Britain's Got Talent" assholes out of obscurity and decides "THIS IS THE NEW SUPERSTAR?"

ED SHEERIN. Really?

This bloated variation on Beck...this oversized beer-sodden elf, is nothing. Not musically. Maybe he's a good interview, if he's going to babble about knowing Taylor Swift, or how he didn't think losing his virginity was a big deal. But as a singer songwriter...he's not a big deal. Not at all. He's monotonous.

I first saw this clown with the half-deflated soccer ball for a face when he tortured a Beatles song on the "50th Anniversary" tribute concert. Then he was on "Saturday Night Live." And he proved that he has one style of strumming and a very bland singing voice and very little melody. As to his lyrics, it wasn't even worth trying to decipher them.

Is it galling or encouraging for the hundreds of jerks with guitars who actually are BETTER than this twat...to see him succeed beyond his own talent? Does it make some jerks with guitars even more determined to go into a park and strum their guitars and look pensive, or soulful, or like they've had a pint too many?

Look, if I want to see a goofy-faced sweaty git with moppy ginger-hair hunched over his guitar trying to be likable, I have some old VHS of Glenn Tilbrook. At least that guy had an interesting voice and wrote a few dozen good songs.

ED SHEERIN and SAM SMITH...dull and duller.

YOW! I'ZE SCARED! DAT DEXTUH IS AFTA ME!

How nice to see some stereotypes perpetuate.

Like...the Negro frightened by a scary photo.

In a "clever" bit of advertising, a subway stairway was postered, as you see, with an image of some asshole on some cable TV show I've never watched. The antics of a lovable serial killer don't interest me.

But every day, THOUSANDS of people walked up the stairs, glanced at the stupid poster, and moved on.

But not one scaredy-black, who got so upset that she fell backwards and ended up damaging her foot. For which she probably wants millions of dollars.

There she is, posing, with no shame at all. It's her right to not only be stupid, but to use that bandaged foot to take a backward step for her entire race. And for her sex, too.

Let's all be very careful whatever we do, because while normal people aren't going to be affected, a NEGRO WOMAN just might fuck herself up!

What next?

Why not shut down the subways entirely?

Maybe there should be a guard for every person who can explain scary things like little girls in "Hello Kitty" outfits.

How about a free roll of toilet paper at every turnstile so people can wipe their butts after they shit themselves from seeing a poster on a wall?

Go to Hell with GOOGLE Travel...

So, I overhear an asshole on a cellphone:

"Yeah, 4-5 days...get me some RAYS...maybe some surfing...I needs me a little time off! I hear Google Travel got the rates, dude, I'll check 'em out..."

WHAT?

It's Fascist Google AGAIN.

They see Expedia and Travelocity...they want a piece.

Do you suppose when you Google "Travel" you DON'T get "GOOGLE TRAVEL" as the prime choice? Or ads for it in your g-mail?

When you pack your Google computer with the Google Chrome and the g-mail and the rest of it, forget about an external drive. YOU want THIS...

MORE GOOGLE. Who doesn't want MORE GOOGLE?

Do you suppose they'd care a rat's ass if you loaded up your terabyte cloud with stolen movies and music, and, oh, used GOOGLE BLOGSPOT or GOOGLE YOUTUBE to tell everybody about it? As in, "I am the GOOGLE-FATHER, come to ME! I have nothing better to do in my Windmill...be nice to me and praise me, and I'll let you download ALL the BEACH BOYS ALBUMS! Just Paypal me a donation to pay my GOOGLE expenses!"

What will Google think of next...or what idea will they steal, and what company will they put out of business...

KINGS OF THEIR DOMAIN: GOOGLE JERKOFFS TAKE OVER DOTCOMS

"Conflict of interest? Unfair monopoly?"

Along with Major Bloodnok, the goons of GOOGLE have never heard such terms. At least, they close their eyes and start laughing if those terms are tossed their way. Sticks and stones, folks!

Yes, GOOGLE and their march to take over the planet, continues:

Oh, whyyyyy noooooot say the sheeeep.

Imagine, you can get a Google domain, put your blog there, link to your YouTube, get all your correspondence through G-mail...what could go wrong? And if Google decides to charge whatever they want to charge...where ARE you going to go?

People just shrug. In NYC, the greatest city in the world, you often have exactly ONE choice for cable TV. It's Time Warner's way or the highway.

IF you're lucky, you might have a building that also is wired for Verizon. Gosh, the phone company, what a great alternative. It's like asking if you'd like to be shot by Hitler or Mussolini.

IF you're a rich bastard with a rooftop view of the heavens, maybe you can have the third alternative of a satellite dish.

As it is, your search engine is gonna be GOOGLE or Bing as a poor second, or what, Yahoo? The monopoly is already working wonders. You want a blog, and you got, what, Blogspot or Wordpress? Anything else?

The Internet is loaded with monopolies. Where you gonna Tweet besides Twitter, and where do you network besides Farcebook? And so everyone gets used to this shit, and GOOGLE marches on. The other day it was invading Amazon's territory (and all the smaller mail order websites). Today it's horning in on domain names.

Always..."tomorrow...THE WORLD!"

AEREO THUDS TO EARTH: DEATH KNELL

You know what AEREO reminded me of?

All the little criminals with their sticky fingers in the cookie jar...the ones who smile and say "But Mum, I was just counting them..." or "I was just going to take ONE..." or "I'm entitled because I'm a GOOD BOY..."

AEREO had the idea that they could set up a network, steal TV signals, and then CHARGE PEOPLE FOR THEM without paying the copyright owners.

You know, the Rapidshare idea.

The weasel reasoning was, "Um, lots of people don't have strong antennas to pull in the free TV. We've created a network of powerful antennas! So all we're doing is charging people to use our powerful antennas! Get it?"

This isn't too far from the YouTube asshole who posts a TV episode and says, "Not my property. All rights to the copyright owner." Forgetting that he's abusing the copyright owner's right to determine WHO uses HIS property."

It's a bit like all the Hans Dementeds who say, "I'm just being a radio station. Except instead of you requesting an album for me to play, I let you download and play it all you want. If you like it buy it!"

Ho ho ha ha hee hee. The Mephisto who thought up this Hans-on Zinfuck of copyright is getting the Death Knell...

What it's not like is the pirates who simply say, "We're thieves. Do something about it if you can." As Dylan sang it, if you live outside the law you must be honest. Aereo tried to pull a fast one within the law, got taken to the Supreme Court...and lost. Nice try, guys. But you ain't Google. If you were Google everyone would've said, "Oh how nice, how thoughtful...let's leave them alone."

Anybody Remember Julian Lennon??

If you saw the tribute TV special honoring the 50th Anniversary of The Beatles on "The Ed Sullivan Show," you saw Paul and Ringo sing together, you saw George's son on stage, you saw Yoko and Sean in the audience...but you didn't see Julian Lennon.

For better or worse, Julian looks a lot more like John Lennon than Sean does...and to have him up on stage, at least playing a guitar and supplying harmony vocals...would've been nice.

Perhaps he didn't want to be part of the cash-in. Maybe there's some "political" problem with Julian being in the same room as Yoko and Sean. Who knows. And...more important...who really cares?

Julian seems to have gone to self-publishing for his next album. Maybe he is a millionaire many times over, and just wants to do a vanity project. (Who knows, who cares). But for nearly 100 pounds, you can get THIS thing, which will be delivered on October 9th (and you do know who was born on that date, don't you).

So nice of Julian to follow Ringo Starr's lead, and offer a chance to get an autograph...as long as it's on an incredibly expensive bit of merch.

Some of us remember Julian's debut. It was an example of "great first album..." and a slide downward. Funny, in the really old days, most rockers didn't really do anything fantastic till their second or third album. But starting with Julian's era, we began getting splashy, over-produced debut albums followed by the same old thing and worse. Dido. Keane. Etc.

I remember the big deal at Atlantic was that if you really really hyped Julian's first album, AND hyped RATT (no kidding) or some equally awful act on Atlantic, you just might be rewarded with an interview or photo op in time for Julian's SECOND album.

Unfortunately the second album was just the first...only not so good...and it led to a slide on subsequent albums, which did have a Beatles vibe to them, in a sludgy kind of way, like comparing 100% maple syrup to 100% artificial sweetener pancake syrup. I felt sorry for the guy, but I also felt sorry for myself, having to put up with his stuff, Sean's even worse stuff, and the same old thing from Paul and Ringo.

With a few irritating exceptions, the "50th Anniverary" thing wasn't too bad. There were a few really bad performances by some 20-something idiots as well as indifferent shit from some of the old-timers (Stevie is no longer a Wonder). Maybe we can just let it go? Let it be? "The Dream is Over." And 100 pounds for a solo album by a guy who hasn't really done anything interesting in an entire generation...anybody remember Julian Lennon??

SALON SAYS THE MUSIC BIZ IS STILL SCREWED

Every "sea change" in the entertainment world...is NAUSEATING.

Any way you look at it, it comes back to the old one-two:

1) There's so much free diversion...people don't need to buy a CD, a DVD or books.

2) For those who actually WANT to OWN this stuff, Piracy makes it easy to slice deeper into the profits.

Put the two problems together and you have...YouTube. I hear it all the time: "Why should I buy music? Any time I want, I just go to YouTube and there's all my favorite songs!" Add Spotify and Pandora and other free services.

Some years ago, assholes like "Seniormole" were extolling Spotify as the future for recording artists. Forget about CDs. Toss your music on Spotify where we can all listen to it as much as we want for free, like radio. Except...Spotify pays next to nothing.

All through the past miserable decade, the Zinfucks, The Dementeds, Christer the Blister, and shit-brains with devil names like Mephisto...all knew better than industry insiders. "You idiots, you don't get it. WE know what's best. WE are having fun. WE are the new stars with our blogs! WE have fans who like us giving away your music. SO...find a new paradigm. And don't forget that what we're doing HELPS you."

Right. Every step of the descent to hell, know-it-all jackasses in Sweden, Holland and other dumbass locations, knew more than anyone. Jerks who never met a rock star, never made an album, had no idea how the industry works...were convinced that giving away entire albums on blogs and in forums was a GOOD THING. Pirate Bay: a GOOD THING. And fuckin' Spotify...THAT'S THE FUTURE! YOU WAIT AND SEE!

That's why most of our favorite artists aren't recording anymore. Why there are so few break-out new stars. Why this past month has seen the release of...Lana Del Rey and Sam Smith...and that's about it. Talk about shit. And constipation. Remember when every week there were new releases at the store?

Over at SALON, they're telling us what we already know, but it's nice that at least they're saying it publicly. I was SO FUCKING SICK of hearing the Zinfucks, et al, prattling their ignorance. They have been proven to be a bunch of clueless cunts. But it's too late. It's too late. Here are some chunks from SALON...

Hyperbole Never Dies

What's your definition of "Comedy Legend?"

A guy who never got a laugh? Rossi was a nice guy, ok, but he was a straight man. And not a colorful Bud Abbott straight man, either.

Who else is a "comedy legend" by the standards of tabloid headline-writers? Zeppo Marx?

To even say "Part of a Legendary Comedy Team" would be a bit ridiculous.

If you ask anyone under 40, who saw Allen & Rossi on the "Ed Sullivan Show" that The Beatles were on...the response would be: "What the FUCK was THAT?" Not "Oh, what comedy legends."

If you're over 40, and were a kid happily bouncing along to "I Want to Hold My Hand," it's possible you also found Marty Allen's "Hello Dere" schtick funny. But that was Marty, not his straight man. In the early 60'sAllen and Rossi was a variation on the recently split Martin & Lewis: Jewish nutjob and Italian singer. Only not nearly as versatile. Obviously, Steve wasn't much of a vocalist...if you compare his career trajectory to Dean Martin. And Marty...was a one-trick comic. A beloved one, for some, but he just was a pudgy guy with awful hair and bulbous eyes who gave a nasal wisecrack to whatever his straight man said.

Bill Dana (as Jose Jimenez) used Andrew Duncan and others to feed him lines. Listen to those old albums. And yet, it wasn't "the comedy team of Dana and Duncan..." because anybody could be a straight man to Dana. Spike Jones and Steve Allen did it on TV. That "Allen and Rossi" were a team was pretty much just because Martin & Lewis were, and they followed the template of childlike comedian reigned in by straight man who also breaks up the corn by singing forgettable songs.

Why didn't the "Comedy Legend" Mr. Rossi just go solo and tell jokes?

The trajectory of the solo Marty Allen was not exactly Jerry Lewis, either. He turned up on the quiz show "Hollywood Squares," and made a few guest appearances on TV shows and in low budget films. He was ok playing small eccentric roles. It was 1962-1965 when he was fresh and new, and "Allen and Rossi" became famous and popular. (Marty is still alive, in his 90's, and poses for pix with the same demented-glazed expression he's always had).

Rossi actually tried to re-start a comedy career over and over and over. He became straight man to Slappy White (the novelty was a black guy and a white guy) and with Joe E. Ross (the aging, annoying comic with "ooh ooh" for a catch-phrase). Ross could hardly remember his lines. In desperation, Rossi teamed with Allen...Bernie Allen, to create a fake Allen & Rossi. Marty wasn't too amused by this. Sporadically Rossi issued a single and/or appeared as a solo lounge act for God Only Knows who...people on a budget who couldn't get in to see Tony Bennett or Jerry Vale?

Eventually, as a nostalgia act, Allen & Rossi re-united in Vegas for a while.

Is any of this "LEGEND?"

"LEGEND" is nice for Rossi's relatives (that's his wife in the photo, not yet another awful comedian Rossi was attempting to work with as a duo). But it's ridiculous for an objective newspaper article, even an obit, to use such hyperbole.

Too bad the guy's gone...not that he was doing anything amusing. But you kind of wish that somebody who made you laugh long ago, had a long, long life spending his Vegas money. Rossi could've had a few more years than he had, but he probably was a heavy smoker...that's how you tend to get esophogeal cancer.

Steve Rossi the "Legend." What are they going to do when Marty passes on? Proclaim "Death of a Comedy God?"

Shop for Everything with your Little Hitler, GOOGLE

Holy Shit.

I open today's newspaper...and I notice a glossy supplement in it. Heavy stock paper. What can it be...

YOU GUESSED IT?

It's Adolf Google again. Now they want to annex Amazon! They want to knock off Fresh Direct and everybody else.

You actually have to BUY something? Ve haff vays...of making you BUY FROM GOOGLE!

VE INTERRUPT YOUR NEWSPAPER WITH A FOUR PAGE AD TELLING YOU TO BUY FROM GOOGLE!

PUT ON YOUR GOOGLE GLASSES AND READ THE CENTERFOLD!

IFF YOU VANT SOMETINK...GO TO GOOGLE! GO! SHNELL!

Got it, Earthlings? You buy a Google computer, you use Google Chrome, g-mail, YouTube, Google PLAY for all your entertainment, and if you have to buy something...GOOGLE EXPRESS. Do NOT go ANYWHERE ELSE. WE ARE CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE.

You thought it was convenient when Amazon and the rest made it so you didn't have to leave your house?

One day soon, you won't even be able to leave your house without permission from The Great God Google.

Besides, there won't be much out there anyway. A few theme parks. Some bars to drown your sorrows. Otherwise...empty stores. Dead space. Nothingness.

Expect GOOGLE to take over the post office, or they'll just have a fleet of their own trucks driving around taking photos of everybody and everything, and delivering your food and clothing.

Is it a surprise that governments tremble and refuse to legislate against Google? Even common sense laws to protect copyright are ignored. And on the Internet, at best, there's nervous laughter and giggling over, he he he, Google "doing it again."

Anti-trust laws? Never heard of 'em. Google Uber Alles!

Copyright Doesn't Work but...GOOGLE PLAY!

You can hear them crowing HA HA HO HO HEE HEE all over the secret compounds of Google...

Their nasty "Google Play" is taking over the world, and dropping Apple to the ground. And, mysteriously, I do believe Google Chrome will be reported as the biggest browser someday...especially since, mysteriously, so many things don't seem to work well on Firefox, Explorer or Safari.

Basically God Google is telling the world, The Lord APPS Those Who APPS themselves.

I don't know WHAT the FUCK this whole "APPS" deal is about. I don't download shit, I don't need shit. I don't live on a phone and I don't live on the computer. But I guess "Free" APPS are actually some trickster scheme, and once you download one, either you end up seeing a lot of commercials and ad-placement crap, or the weasels behind this junk are happy to get all your information and the ability to profile you and who knows, zombie-you into going where they want you to go, and buy what they want you to buy.

No surprise then that robot countries like Japan, where there aren't human beings, just Google-eyed idiots playing video games, are happy to make GOOGLE PLAY so popular.

GOOGLE PLAY has been the subject of a massive bus shelter campaign in NYC. The bus shelters all had MASSIVE SIGNS urging people to go listen to music at GOOGLE PLAY. Ha Ha Ho Ho Hee Hee. First Google cripples the music industry, then it out-bandits Spotify and Pandora and brainwashes everyone to stream music and never ever ever ever buy it.

The wimps call this a "sea change." It used to be that technology just fucked our wallets. Bought vinyl? Now buy a portable 8-track. 8-track obsolete? Buy a cassette. Cassette obsolte, buy a CD. And now...FUCK IT...just stream it all and don't OWN a damn thing. Make the artists use music as a promotion. "Here's free music, please come to a show and buy a t-shirt."

That's a "sea change." No more books, CDs, or DVDs...just go to The Great God Google for all you want...FREE...as long as you buy a Google chrome computer, only use Google g-mail and the rest of it...

....and let's wait for Google to really turn Hitler and say, "OK, now that we are the monopoly...you PAY us for EVERYTHING!"

A little taste of tyranny to come is what goes on with YouTube, where you can't watch a fucking 3 minute YouTube video without being stuck with a 30 second ad...or a bunch of ads crawling all over the screen. You thought broadcast TV was obnoxious with commercials every 10 minutes? There's hardly a video on any website that you can access without having to endure a commercial first...if you're not blocked from seeing it because you've only downloaded the latest ADOBE five or six times all morning. Ah ah...NEW UPDATE, open up your mouth and take your ADOBE for the DAY...

Computers are a fucking blight on the 21st Century...it's a dead heat between the fucking Arab psychos and Google on who will destroy the world first.

"Teddy Goalsevelt" - Go Fuck Yourself!

It's too bad the USA hasn't joined the UK as "down and OUT" in the boring World Soccer Cup.

That would put an end to an attention-seeking misfire named "Teddy Goalsevelt"

As sports becomes more boring and predictable, the media disgustingly does what we do...looks elsewhere. Last time I was at a game, there was plenty of time to look around the stadium, see what the idiots were wearing, listening to stupid wisecracks shouted out during the dull moments, etc.

So now, FANS are half the "entertainment." Except they aren't entertaining. Even on TV, which has professional broadcasters babbling constantly, and endless replays, they keep focusing on FANS. We have to see idiots holding up posters, morons with face makeup on, and professional pests like TEDDY GOALSEVELT.

I equate what this asshole GOALSEVELT does, with the bloggers who steal music. They both think they're serving as free publicists. But they are both fame-hungry parasites, that's all. If a sports team really, REALLY is so fucking boring they need a mascot, they BUY one. The San Diego Chicken. "Mr. Met" who walks around the stadium with a huge baseball for a head. The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

UGH. The papers are so desperate for something colorful to say about the ostriches who go around kicking a rubber egg for an hour...they have to promote TEDDY GOALSEVELT?

If you don't know American history, Teddy Roosevelt is, for most Americans, a cartoon character. Nobody remembers what he did, just that he was a big game hunter and an explorer and used to shout "Bully! Bully!" all the time. He was such a parody of the jingoistic bullet-headed American that only 40 years after he left office, a "Teddy" character in the stage comedy "Arsenic and Old Lace" turned up, spouting jingoistic nonsense and shouting about building the Panama Canal. Another 70 years have passed, and THIS bonehead revives the long-dead Teddy and goes around shouting "Charge!" and being a blustery fart-gusting asshole.

Let's just face the fact that we are jaded by sports being the same old thing. Nothing bores me more than the "sports highlights" on the news...the home runs, the strike-outs, the basketball dunks, the touchdowns, even most knockouts. The highlights now often include "and look at this fan who was at the game..." I do NOT want to seethat shit, or TEDDY GOALSEVELT.

As for soccer, for a while the highlights had to include that fat-faced dipshit announcer shouting "GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL" every time there is one. Did that liven up the very dull sight of a brown-faced pygmy kicking a ball past the outstretched arms of some other pygmy? No, and "GOAAAAAAAAAAAAL" got olllllllllld the second time I heard it.

Here's a phrase that does NOT get old: FUCK YOU. As in, "FUCK YOU, TEDDY GOALSEVELT."

ENGLAND IS OUT OF THE WORLD CUP

Sorry, ladies and jerks!

"If we've done something good, 'It's Another Triumph for Great Britain.' If not...it's 'England Loses Again!'" Michael Flanders.

In the case of the World Cup, who really gives a Grimsby rat's ass?

Who IS this annoying PUSSY named SAM SMITH?

Jesus Christ, this is the WIMP of the year. What the fuck is going on with his high-pitched pretentious mewling?

"Stay With Me" is an extremely annoying song, made worse by the God-awful fake-Gospel choir in the background. What, this pasty-faced faux-working class twit has...soul?

The fucking video for this piece of shit has a guy who, for two seconds, looks like maybe he's some young Morrissey deal...corny but amusing, with something to say. He's got the working class shaved-sides hairstyle, but...look out...that toffee meringue pie wedge up top. Very faggy.

I know a guy who was raving about this asshole all over Facebook. Wow, what a debut. You gotta hear this! You gotta...

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

This fucking Sam Smith is just about at the level of a Britain's Got Talent contestant...the kind that, with the sentimental applause dying down, Simon would straight-face, "You could be a very big star" without really meaning it.

Great Britain seems to have no problem coming up with dozens and dozens of these Sam Smith guys...ones who vaguely recall choir boys grown up; ones who tremulously concentrate on singing in such pure, PURE high-pitched voices (think Orbison without any testosterone). We're supposed to be impressed because they're old-fashioned and not rapping.

And what's the message of "Stay With Me?" It's not near the more famous song by that name. It's just a fluttery, somber, sullen dirge sung with a solemn, half-nauseous look by your favorite working class wonk.

The summer has begun with a detestable start, as far as the music world is concerned. The "big" releases have been Lana Del Rey and THIS asshole. Lana Del Rey wishes she was dead, and Sam Smith is a ghost-faced zombie.

DONALD TRUMP is right, for a change. $40 million to Nasty Thugs is "too much"

If you don't remember it, or are from out of town, the "Central Park Jogger Case" was a big deal.

It was the last straw in tolerating crime in what many have called the most beautiful work of art in America. (Central Park IS an art work, it was designed and built...with foot bridges, lakes and elaborate pathways. Before it was hand-carved into a showpiece of fields and wooded areas, it was a mile of dirt, bog and shanties).

At the time, "wilding" was the new fad among the city's young monkeys (of any color), and it involved racing through a store stealing everything in sight, being rowdy after one of those obnoxious "ethnic pride" parades, and/or going out in a wolf pack to assault somebody for sex or money or both.

The jogger, an investment banker, was so viciously assaulted she's still not right in the head. There was so little blood left in her body it seemed she would die. Very quickly, five monkeys were arrested, and they began to confess. NOW it turns out they were, of course, coerced into creating some pretty elaborate and believable versions of what happened to the jogger. Most, if not all, were juvenile delinquents with records for criminal activity. They were in the park for no good reason.

After many years, some jerk actually admitted that he, alone, had attacked and raped the jogger...doing damage that it seemed only could've been done by a wolf pack.

The climax to this story is that in this wimpy world of litigation and Liberals, the Fabulous Five not only got their exoneration but, at long last, got...DA MONEY. So dey can get DA BLING. So dey never gotta work. Play video games all day. And their attorneys can laugh all the way to the bank with THEIR percentage.

OK, they were young, they were stupid to confess. Most ghetto teens know enough to shout "I ain't dun nuffin" and stick to it till proven guilty. The fact remains, their very convincing stories were told in the media and at the time, everyone believed it all. "He took her pants down, I hit her with a brick..." and on and on.

But 40 MILLION? When people who've suffered legitimate and permanent damage due to city negligence often get...NOTHING??

Of course it's a bit humorous that the main person complaining is a billionaire, and one who has gone to the courts over and over with frivolous lawsuits demanding millions from beauty contestants and comedians and anyone else who got within sight of his gimlet eyes.

Still, the arch conservative Republican Trump IS right. 40 MILLION is too much to everyone except NYC or GOOGLE. Hey, why not have GOOGLE pay for it, and have those lovable boys drawn as Google Doodles, swinging from trees, happily counting their cash?

"Creepy Google" Does it Again: Spying on YOU

"The more things that are wrong, the more we must pretend they're all right..." said one of the grave robbing plotters in Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson's tale of body snatchers.

And so Google has no difficulty in pretending that their latest purchase isn't another Big Brother scam. The Wire:

The interesting part of this latest atrocity, is that Google is now doing it most every day, week and month, so the more they do it, the more everyone accepts it.

Sure, The Wire calls them "Creepy." Most everyone is coming around to realize this monopoly, like Amazon, like North Korea, like Syria, like ISIS, is "creepy." So what. On with it.

Going back to a favorite gripe, this is EXACTLY what happened with piracy. At first there were some grumbles and glares when Tofu Hut and other early blogs began stealing individual songs. There were a little more when the Dutch Douche and his friends began to find their egomania salved with whole album downloads. Now, I routinely see links for professional thieves like the "new records releases" dotcom or whatever they call themselves, and Zinfuck and others, tossed around social media along with YouTube. Nobody questions piracy anymore, or getting all the shit for free.

So nobody questions that Google can easily pay obscene $555 MILLION prices for some little computer nerd's start-up toy while they continue to pay pennies to YouTube uploaders. Google deliberately ignores violations of copyright and of decency, and won't spend money to hire a few employees to check flagged blogs. Their search engine still leads everyone to the "Goodies" and they force copyright owners to go through hoops and report each html that is in violation...and giggle when it all comes back the next day with no suspension to the blogger and "gee, we don't have the technology to see the same footprint all over again."

We've come to accept that anyone can wave a cell phone camera at you and record you, and that Google glasses and Google maps are ok, and so what if Google checks your g-mail and wherever you go on the Net.

We've also come to accept that CCTV cameras are monitoring what we buy in the store, and how we sit on the bus. Did anyone mount a protest about this shit? No, it was "Oh, well, the store has to monitor for thieves, and if something happens on the bus, they'll have the perp in no time." Except nobody is monitoring the monitors...the guys who might be training their spy cameras in stores at the ladies changing room, up a skirt, down a blouse, or zooming in on the numbers of a credit card.

The cops? They won't go get the CCTV footage if a woman complains about being groped and lewdly propositioned by some wanker on the street. Your landlord? He's not going to check his camera to see who wrote the graffiti on the wall, which would only require him to fill out forms, take the person to court, and waste time better spent counting his money.

Yeah, "Creepy Google has done it again. And they will do it again and again and again.

"And have you seen their latest Google Doodle? LOL!"

KELLY CLARKSON SHOVES BABY BACK UP HER CUNT

Now that's a headline.

Isn't it?

THIS isn't. THIS is not news. THIS is pap you wouldn't feed to a newborn with no taste and no idea what shit is.

Compared to Kunt Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson is Grace Kelly.

Nothing against Clarkson (I could care less if she ever sang another note, though). If she has adoring hillbilly Paula Deen goggle-eyed greasy-lipped chicken-breath housewife morons who have nothing better to do than stare at pictures of her baby...fine. I don't fault Kelly Clarkson for posting this pointless drivel for her fans, or Tweeting her twat off. If Jimmy Kimmel posted pix of his stupid newborn and Tweeted his dick off...same thing.

But why pick it up and make it NATIONAL NEWS?

A pregnancy, a birth...it happens ALL THE TIME, and TOO DAMN OFTEN. It's nothing for the rest of us to celebrate! What a stupid pulpy dollop of fat (the baby, I mean, not Kelly Clarkson). It will have no personality for another five years, and no GOOD personality for maybe another 15 or 20.

Melon Head Melanie Griffith Tattoo; Stink about Ink

No, Melanie Griffith hasn't mattered since "Working Girl."

Her idiot ex-husband Antonio Banderas is a cartoon...he's probably made more by being the marble-mouthed cat in "Shrek" movies (with the sobbingly wide eyes) than anything else he's ever done.

Supposedly she's a dyke and he's queer...and this was a marriage of convenience. But that's more a Perez Hilton problem than anything THIS blog gives a damn about.

It's just that a) Melon Head has a face that looks like a half-rotten honeydew that some mean kids experimented on with putty.

And b) It's boring to read about a woman just because she showed off a stupid tattoo...which is now missing.

I know. Sometimes even an intelligent woman has a tattoo. Or more than one. Angelina Jolie seems intelligent...she just had so many mental problems she had to stain her beauty with idiotic notes on herself and other debris, including "Billy Bob," which she had to have lasered off when she and Thornton split.

Melanie needed to show the world she is heterosexual and SO in love...by putting a cornball tattoo of her jerky hubby's name on her arm. Hey, you're Melanie Griffith, daughter of Tippi Hedren, not some greasy asshole's property. Where's your fucking sense of self? Up some hole or other?

Now, after 18 years, this dreary duo have split...so she's been showing up with the tattoo either partially covered in make-up, or totally covered. I suppose actually having it removed will take a lot of time and pain. Good.

Tattoos are stupid. That gossip magazines and newspapers LOVE to show these daring bits of inky drivel only encourages others with low self-esteem to do likewise.

You are such a nothing that you need to show off 3rd-rate art that some dumbass with a drill made for you? This is your idea of status? Some lame flower, mystic symbol, or the name of some jerk you will probably end up hating?

There's only one good reason for Melanie Griffith to get another tattoo...which is to take attention away from her appalling face.

Humiliation of Natalie Portman by Jeff Yarber and Loran Yarber

They're the All-American couple. Orlando, Florida.

He's fat and stupid looking. She's middle-aged and of no interest to any male besides fatso.

That's Jeff Yarber and Loran Yarber. Now what do you suppose they do with their spare time?

Remember now, they're Southern Christians.

Figure them for sex perverts? Well...they don't just do bondage, sadism or humiliation for fun. They also do it for profit:

You name the female star...and they'll humiliate her.

Where? EBAY of course.

There's that secret little "adult only" section of eBay where almost anything goes. Ebay frowns on bestiality (but sellers do offer some of that stuff) and child pornography (oh, just claim the models are all over 18).

The game with EBAY personnel is the same as Sgt. Schultz of "Hogan's Heroes" fame..."We know nnnnnothing! Nnnnnnnothing! WE SEE NNNNOTHING!"

If you call EBAY you'll get Gunga Dickhead who will sing-song a lot of stupid platitudes and thank you for calling, and hang up.

You might be told to send a message to EBAY via the "report this auction" link that is off in a corner on every EBAY ad. The problem? EBAY will look at the auction and probably shrug. Natalie Portman in bondage? Is this a violation of their 'offensive materials' policy? No, women are not protected that way. Is it a violation of their porn policy? No, Natalie is not an animal and not a child. Is this a violation of "Celebrity Materials" rules that prevent the abuse or duplication of a star's image? YES, it sure is, but EBAY will pretend it's POSSIBLE that Portman allowed two revolting Southern cheeseballs to do this to her.

So it's up to Natalie Portman or her lawyer...every famous star or their lawyer...to go fog their eyeballs and nauseate themselves by checking out what gives in the "adult only" area of EBAY.

The Yarber slobs do have competition...there are several other greedy, perverted nutjobs with Photoshop on the computer and evil on their minds.

They are given star billing here because they've been doing it for half a dozen years at least, doing it on other Internet sites as well, and when they get suspended on EBAY they come crawling back under a different name to do it some more.

That's the sociopath mind, isn't it?

And so, for the moment, these obese roaches are on EBAY making money and getting their kicks.

When they cease and desist, or when somebody comes to their door and puts an end to them, this post will come down.

DAILY COOZE: SOCCER SLUTS ABOUND at WORLD CUP 2014

The sad, stupid, slutty world of Internet "news" sites...

In the old days, you bought a newspaper because that's what you did.

There was minimal competition. There were a few papers. You bought your favorite. Maybe two...a "serious" paper (like the NY Times) and a more sensational one (like the NY Post).

NOW? Now newspapers are going under, struggling to make money with "online" versions, and having to compete with TMZ, Perez Hilton, blogs, porn, Facebook...you name it.

No wonder the Daily News is now the Daily Cooze, finding excuses to load up every day's online site with idiotic photo features like...the Hotties of the Brazil-hosted World Cup.

Some ugly-faced moron wanders onto her hotel balcony naked? Ooooh! HOTTIE!!!!

This is how the sad, sad Daily News website gets traffic?

To be fair, this is also how women (sorry, FEMINISTS OUT THERE) are behaving. By not behaving. By being sex objects. By flaunting themselves with their tiny outfits and grimacing smiles and smirks.

They know that any one of 'em, with just the right slab of silicone, the right hair dye, and the right obnoxious attitude and slutty whorish behavior...could become a star.

After all, what was Kim Kardashian? What IS Kim Kardashian? Did she do one thing that required talent?

Here comes the next KIM, maybe...

And so it goes.

A sports event, like the Kentucky Derby or the World Cup (or the Astor race, where all the Royals preened and posed in their finery) is no longer a mere sports event.

It has to be a fucking fashion show...so idiot women can get in on it. That's why Janet Jackson staged that "wardrobe malfunction" at the Super Bowl years ago. Hey everyone, even if you don't like sports...watch the women cavort around. Ladies, watch Kim and Courtney and Katy and whoever else...watch the bitches who got in the Daily News...they'll give you tips on how YOU should act in public in order to get all the attention you so desperately need...

Whee, everyone's a star...everyone's posing slutty on Facebook, everyone's running to sports events to make spectacles of themselves. Everyone wants to be the next no-talent rich-bitch like Fuckwit Jenner and Twatmind Kardashian and Clitbrain Stoddard.

Entertainment gets more disgusting all the time. Whores belong on a side street. It's prurient to have them mincing about in a stadium looking for "johns" with cameras.

The "tradition" probably started with ring card girls...that wonderful mix of sex and violence that we boxing fans love so much. Watch guys bash each other to pieces, and between rounds...see the girls in teeny outfits and high heels mince around the ring holding a sign and grinning.

We've even had porn and sex mix together...where, after all, did Tracy Kiebler come from? The blonde who was dating George Clooney for a while was a STAR...for her staged, phony wrestling matches. She got out of it before she bruised her moneymakers.

Now, at what is thankfully only a miserable event every four years, the World Cup has turned into Count The Media Whores...

Brazil Nuts Love Sluts: Bitches Call Attention to Themselves at the Games

I reported about this bimbo exhibitionism a few weeks ago...how the "Triple Crown" horse racing events have become a pussy magnet for vain vagina owners.

No surprise, idiot bitches who don't know a soccer ball from a tennis ball are rushing to the stadiums of Brazil to be photographed cheering for their team. Any team.

Women don't like sports. They never have. They never will.

What they do like is ATTENTION, and lots of it. Cameras? They're ready to out-bosom each other to get into the front row. "Oooh! Look! Look! Here I am in the newspaper! Maybe I can get a reality show: Stupid Air-Head Cunts Who Watch Sporting Events."

Slutty Jean Kasem: The Trophy Wife with her own BOY TOY

Casey Kasem might be rolling over in his grave. If he remembers how.

The late disc jockey who suffered from Alzheimer's was not only delusional in his last days, he was apparently delusional when he married his giant Barbie doll trophy wife Jean.

We've seen middle-aged trolls like Casey Kasem make fools of themselves time and again.

They pose, grinning through their false teeth, trying to convince the world they're desirable studs.

Everyone laughs and wonders if Miss Barbie Doll is seeing some guy on the side, or actually being patient and waiting for her geriatric hubby to just plain drop dead.

Jean Kasem apparently couldn't wait. NOW it comes out that she had a boy toy stashed in her Malibu condo for at least two years. From press reports:

"A neighbor at the luxury, 10-unit building overlooking the Pacific confirmed that a man named John Paul (JP) Gressy is now living in the 450 square-foot condo that the Kasems have owned for many years. A maid who answered the door to the Kasems' condo also confirmed that Gressy lives there."

The lawyer for one of Casey's concerned daughters filed papers in court: "Mrs. Kasem has been lying to Mr. Kasem for at least two years, telling him that they are divorced. What possible motive could Mrs. Kasem have for such cruelty. Perhaps the younger gentleman that is staying at the Malibu house and driving Mr. Kasem’s car could answer that question for us."

Then there's the question of Miss Barbie Doll hauling Casey's half-dead carcass around to keep the daughters from checking on his treatment. Doctors say that stuff could've killed the guy. Anyone think it might not have hastened his death?

Perhaps if easy goin' Casey was able to climb back out of his grave for one last broadcast, he'd tell the world: "Look, she made me feel young. And tall. And handsome. Staring at her face and body, I thought I was actually her match, and not just some clueless rich Arab with a condescending voice and a load of sentimental corn that I'd spit into a microphone."

Jean Kasem was probably doing a "Top 40" countdown the moment she married the guy...and figuring it wouldn't take too many years before she had the money and the boy toy and all the fame her little flinty heart desired.

"Mayonaisse"-skinned Brits can't win World Cup Soccer in Brazil's HELL sez NY TIMES

The Sunday edition of The New York Times published a snide, reverse-racist piece describing just what kind of hell BRAZIL is…especially for white people. It even enlisted noted drooling cripple Stephen Hawking to make a point about British chances melting whenever the team has to play in the tropics.

Contrasting the "chilly and soggy" climate in Liverpool, the author reported on "rain forest conditions" in Brazil, where the humidity is up around 87, "which, oddly enough, is about how many times England has lost a penalty-kick shootout."

Just why the New York Times would devote so much space to Brit-bashing, rather than interviewing members of the American team, I have no idea. But it continued with an interview in which a British fan complained about the "crawlies" all over the ground, and a warning about "a tiny, vampire catfish said to be able to swim up the urethra of anyone who urinates in the Amazon river."

After reporting "there are two seasons in Manaus, summer and hell," the paper noted that Hawking calculated that "a temperature rise of nine degrees (five degrees Celsius) can decrease England's chances by 59%." After noting that England hosted the only World Cup it won, the Times snickered that "England's current best player, Wayne Rooney, is as pale as mayonnaise. He would need a couple of tanning salon visits to quality as pasty."

I doubt the Times would allow a writer to say that some natives competing in England "have skin as black as midnight, and would need some whitening before it could look like anything but tar."

After noting that no Europeans have won a World Cup in South America, the Times quotes a British fan: "Humidity will kill an Englishman." Chuckling that the Brits should've "took turns under the French-fry lamp at McDonalds," the Times winked about Brits who trained in Miami for a while, but "it is difficult to seem intimidating when one is exhausted."

It's only in one of the very last paragraphs that the American team is even mentioned. The Yanks, it's said, are "more amused than concerned about swampy conditions," and spectators would only be likely to "worry about…large numbers of British men wearing Capri pants."

Why would a huge article in the Times focus almost exclusively on belittling the British players and fans, with not a word about the French or the Germans or Scandinavians? Maybe the British fans have something to do with it...their embarrassing flag waving, beer guzzling, and ludicrous outfits (including men painting their faces and wearing tu-tus). It's possible the Times just used the British players because it's harder to write an entire piece on idiot fans who seem so oblivious to how quickly their team will sink to defeat.

There's just a passing paragraph from an Italian player who is "curious" to see how the weather will affect his play. Oh well…as long as the joke is on white people who can't deal with the climate…all's well at the New York Times. Except…let's wait for July and August in New York City, when the sun is unbearable and the humidity turgid and tropical and so dense that, as Spike Milligan once mentioned, "you could grab the air and squeeze water out of it with your fist."

Google's Stereotype Italian World Cup Soccer Assholes

Oh, it's Father's Day, and Luigi is taking his huge greasy mustache and his little meatball son to...PLAY SOCCER. Or go to the stadium for WORLD CUP SOCCER. Or go to a sports bar with a giant screen for watching that shit.

I don't suppose any Italians really care that this is not-PC, because it IS good old GOOGLE, and everyone LOVES GOOGLE.

I might be wrong. GOOGLE could be making fun of Brazilians. Germans. But that seems more of an Italian mustache.

Who knows what wonderful SOCCER DOODLE we'll have tomorrow? Maybe somebody will preserve them all for us on YOUTUBE, dancing and bouncing merrily along.

By the way, Luigi, GOOGLE knows exactly where you've been walking, has tracked every place you've walked for the past month, and of course knows every site you've visited on the Internet. Really, Luigi, that website with the women fucking themselves with Italian sausage and using dried up leftover meatballs for anal beads...who knew you were that kinky?? GOOGLE KNOWS!!

World Cup Suckers: Google Makes It Worse

Rule of toe (if not thumb), "Google will make it worse."

It's toe in this case, because Google has been relentlessly flogging...WORLD CUP SOCCER.

As one of my blogger colleagues pointed out in a brilliant essay and dissection, it comes down to four words:

IT'S JUST A GAME.

Or another four words:

WHO THE FUCK CARES?

I fully understand that at times (24/7 it seems) we need to open the pressure cooker and feast on something pulpy. We need a diversion from bad news. But...WORLD CUP SOCCER ain't it. And GOOGLE constantly putting stupid animated graphics of bouncing soccer balls on the opening page doesn't help. But they, like Scientology, seem to get a sadistic delight in mind control.

In England, the main gripe is that their team never makes it too far, despite all the beer-drinking and bellowing. Well, what can you expect...they don't even know what game they're playing. The title of this event is WORLD CUP SOCCER. Not WORLD CUP FOOTBALL.

It seems that even in the stupidest countries, it's called Soccer, even though it's played with a ball that you kick with your foot.

Why one of the most intelligent countries can't call it SOCCER, I don't know. Then again, England popularized tennis, and why the fuck it's 15,30,40 and GAME rather than 1,2,3 and WIN, I don't know either. Michael Flanders indicated the reason was "Some of the debenture-holders'd be bound to get shirty." I don't know what that means either.

All digression aside, the event means nothing in America. Nothing. Even when Pele was playing for the New York Cosmos, nobody cared. And he was the best in the world, not an aging pretty boy has-been underwear model like Beckham. It'll take a few million more irritating jabbering immigrants from the hot countries before anyone cares about soccer in America. It's a stupid game. I played it when I was a kid, when there was nothing better to do. It was primitive, and bouncing the ball off your head...moronic.

So that leaves all the hot-headed idiots from South America and Africa, and the maniacs in Italy. Naturally Google has to play up this nonsense to try and brainwash everyone else into caring, but it's not gonna work. The main reason is that English speaking teams rarely win or come close, and we've all got better things to do. Tennis is going on, basketball and hockey are actually still going on, and baseball is going on. Plus there's always boxing and MMA.

The other day it was Friday the 13th PLUS a full orange-honey-colored moon. People had to yap about that (surprised GOOGLE didn't put up something cute, but they were busy with soccer animation). What the FUCK are we supposed to do? Stay in bed all day?

"Do you know it's Friday the 13th? AND a full moon?"

"Yeah, so let's go find a witch and throw her into the lake."

What was I supposed to do last night, go outside and howl at the fucking moon because this is the last time a full orange-honey-colored moon will show up on Friday the 13th in my lifetime? Great. There it is. I forgot my troubles for approximately 15 seconds. Or less, if some asshole walking his dog didn't let it pee on my leg.

Every day it seems people are trying to find some stupid thing to liven things up, or fight off depression. Tomorrow is "Father's Day." Get Dad a soccer ball.

Wacky Paki WHACKS wife 'cause Beating Women is a Custom...

Why do these Muslim assholes emigrate? What the FUCK for?

In your own repulsive country you can beat your women with a stick, you can make sure they don't learn how to drive, and you can spend your time listening to your own rotten music, scowl over the Koran, kill goats...WHAT makes you want to go to a FREE COUNTRY and then be an ASSHOLE?

This Boris Karloff of the Camel Dung world admits he beat his wife to death...he just didn't mean to kill her. Just, you know, put the hurt on her, because he's got a dick and a misguided idea about what God thinks he should do with his revolting life.

God told him to emigrate? God told him to beat his wife over lentils?

Funny (not) that these asshole moron fuckheads get put in the loony bin if they claim they hear God talking to them...but if they claim that what some silly book says is what God said...that's ok. And where DID God say "beat your wife over lentils?"

But let's go back to the main question: WHY EMIGRATE?

Take a look at this old fig in his silly hat. You think he said, "What I'd really like is to be free to watch Benny Hill?" Think he said, "More than anything, I wanna be able to go bowling." Was it: "You know, I want to be able to walk around in Bermuda shorts and knee socks without people giving me the skunk eye?"

Somehow I doubt this guy was making any use of our lovely world of amusement and entertainment. I don't think he was bolstering the numbers for viewers of "American Idol." I don't think he was buying a lot of Twinkies. I doubt he was lining up even once a week to get some take-out from Taco Bell.

There's NO reason for this idiot to have left Pakistan. Now he's killed a woman, and the government is going to have to pay for his room and board. PS, the way governments work (in the free world) it costs more to keep a jerk like this in prison, than to give him a 2 room apartment in the projects and food stamps.

Tesco is RIGHT about Stud Muffins

One form of entertainment is for "Libtards" to self-righteously come out in favor of the homeless.

Not to the point of offering them a job.

No, "Libtards" (the derogatory word for a certain species of Liberal who might also be called a wimp, faggot or just plain cunt) love to go on social media and post their triumphs. Like, "WE got Tesco to remove the studs so the homeless can flop on the street while we shop! Hooray, now they can lie there growling for money, food, sex...and stink up the place and frighten our kids!"

"Libtard" lawyers love to make a name for themselves (in order to get clients who PAY, of course) by bringing lawsuits into the courts (and newspapers) on behalf of the hapless minorities. Like habitually drunken homeless shits who can't be cleaned up and are the worst types of alcoholics and loonies, and eventually flop back into Nightmare Alley no matter what you do for 'em.

The best you can hope for is that some of the homeless actually go to government shelters, or get their act together if they've really fallen on hard times due to economic calamity. But to have a whole lot of professional bums and outright pests loitering around where people are trying to live and work...FUCK 'EM. Yeah, "Libtard" lady, take one home, hose him down, FUCK HIM, give him a good meal, and then get him a suit of clothes and find him a job if you're so fucking concerned.

"Libtard" idiots in the UK and USA have been mounting campaigns to remove "spikes" and "studs" placed on the sidewalk. Somebody was actually COMPLAINING that there aren't enough dirty assholes flopping their dung-ridden bodies on busy streets? Idiots want EVERY bench to be clear of any arm rest or barrier, too. These are people who obviously never use the park, and have no concern for the old lady that wants to rest and enjoy the time she has left...or the mother who'd like to read a book while her kids gently play. Better to have fuckin' Aqualung leering at little girls, intimidating couples, and ranting and drooling at strangers? Really?

These Ivory Tower "Libtards" go to a private gated park area where bums can't even get in. They have the maid go shopping for them or they buy on line. They happen to see barriers on benches to prevent pests from lying down, or see posts in the ground so that fucking bums have to go to a vacant lot to sleep off their drunk...and they can't mind their own fucking business?

Tesco actually had a good idea, which was good for its customers. I doubt that too many ACTUAL Tesco customers were saying, "Gee, I'd like more bums getting in my way, propositioning me, demanding my food and my money..."

What's next? Give microphones and speakers to the poor loonies who can't scream loud enough about flying saucers, crop circles and the invasion of Earth by triffids? Replace public phone booths with a mini-mosque and water fountain, so that pious Muslims can always find a place to stop, pray to Mecca and wash their feet? How about baby-changing stations at the counter of every Burger King, so that busy mums can change baby's soiled nappies without the inconvenience of going home, to a car, or to the ladies room? Look, if stinking bums are ok in the street, stinking baby bums should be ok at Burger King.

Is there NO END to the world of clueless twits?

"Dr. Aretha Franklin" - Like Celebrities Don't Get Enough Fat-Ass Kissing

Feeling a little ill, today? Mentally or physically?

Go call up DOCTOR Aretha Franklin!

Oh. She's not that kind of a doctor? She's not ANY kind of a doctor.

Except the pussies of Harvard University are telling the world you can call her...Dr. Aretha Franklin.

This is what "celebrity culture" is all about. We already pay a fortune to celebrities, fawn over them, treat them like royalty, beg to get a photo with them or an autograph, and cheer when they are given an Oscar, Tony, Grammy, Emmy, Golden Globe, People's Choice or some other fucking trinket! We also have...

...colleges and universities BRIBING these STARS to come to a graduation ceremony! The bait? A DOCTORATE.

You may have heard of Dr. William H. Cosby, Jr. PhD.

That's Bill Cosby. He EARNED a degree. He did the work. He's an exception.

This fat tub of Aretha...all she's done is shout on stage and sweat a lot. That's my opinion, of course. I just don't find this cow all that appealing, and screaming R.E.S.P.E.C.T. doesn't get much from M.E.

Ray Charles, yes. Aretha...not my cup of coffee. But either way, either you go to school and do your work, or you don't. Stop giving away degrees for "life achievement" because you like their fucking songs (which they usually didn't even write). Some jerk at Harvard decides the fat lady would be great...showing pissy white Harvard actually has some soul? That's pandering.

Why not give an honorary degree to the soldier who had to quit school to fight a battle for us and then work 12 hour days to keep a roof over his wife and family? He had life experiences. Ain't he no "Doctor?" No, 'cause he ain't no...CELEBRITY.

Jerad Miller, Jared Padgett, Jared Loughner : ASSHOLES

The last two assholes who grabbed automatic weapons with intent to blow away as many people as possible...

Were named JERAD and JARED.

And in the infamous ooky-faced goth-loving anti-social shit with the rotten anti-social parents in Arizona...the one who even killed a little girl as well as scrambled the brains of Gabrielle Giffords...was JARED Loughner.

Coincidence?

Let's just say that a retarded, awkward, meaninglessly stupid first name...is NOT going to make a kid feel any better about himself.

Open your dumb EYES, Brittny - Oh, Too Fuckin' Bad

Any way you spell it, a woman named Britney, Brittany or Brittny is bound to be stupid.

I really have no idea who celebutard Brittny Gastineau is. She just popped up as an important NEWS item because she got socked in the eye.

Gosh, what a surprise. Do you suppose her family took a look at her boy-toy and said, "He's gonna clock you" and she laughed?

Here's a guy who just looks SO harmless and SO SWEET.

What a DARLING. What a catch.

What a shit brain you were, Brittny, and probably still are. 'Cause you'll go back to him until he does his O.J. Simpson act and slits your throat.

Because in the back of his mind he knows why you're with him. And he secretly despises you for that.

He also doesn't think that much of you because unlike your good FRIEND Kim Kardashian, you don't have a huge butt that a guy like this would reeee-speck.

Hey, at least one of your eyes is black. Congrats. Idiot.

This celebutard is so LOW on the recognition chart, she has to parade herself around with a black eye before a newspaper website or gossip columnist would mention her.

I can just imagine her publicist saying, "How about really enraging that jerk of yours? Think about it. A week or two in a wheelchair for the lead future on an episode of "Access Hollywood!"

You go, girl.

MEDIA SLUT CHELSEA HANDLER: "No More Bieber"

IF you don't know who Chelsea Handler is, you're lucky.

She's the "smart" slut who managed to go from mediocre comedian who sassed and intimidated talk show assholes like Conan and Dave, to the "star" of her own wretched talk show.

I mean wretched. As in...unwatchable. She had a guest on that I wanted to see (Gershon, not Bieber), and it was a form of torture waiting and waiting through her preening jokes and her sidekicks yammering it up...including the obligatory obnoxious GAY GUY.

What her demographics could be, I have no idea...a bunch of gays giggling and worshipping the strong bitch they wish they were? A whole lot of impressionable chicks thinking frank talk about shacking up is glamorous? Who knows. Who cares.

I was momentarily amused by this disgusting glib-bint when she announced she was sick of talking to or about Bieber and the Kardashians...

...but I soon became disgusted.

Handler, who vaguely had some kind of crusading comic take on "women can be just as promiscuous as men" deal, is now nothing but one huge egomaniacal tampon, sucking the life out of anyone in the room with her. No, there's no way she could follow Stephen Colbert (the dry replacement for Letterman next year) and take "Late Late Show." But she's clearly angling to change her image. Who wants a 40 year-old woman bragging about spreading her legs for any cock big enough to momentarily enter her well-used garage? As yet, cable doesn't have "The Cougar Channel," and after seven fucking (literally) years, she's really worn out most everyone's titillation on how she hasn't yet worn down her labia into two puffy crullers that flake stuff onto the bedsheets.

So, the opportunist, she's leaving that bad, fishy taste and awful sense of humor to Kathy Griffin and is ready to present herself as an astringent host that should be taken seriously. Sort of like, if Graham Norton insisted, "no more gay in-jokes, no more flippant sass...from now on I'm only going to interview Irish authors of depressing literary fiction and Muslim clerics." Yeah?

It's vaguely possible this woman is maturing, and is actually bored with such stunts as filming herself and Conan O'Brien naked in a shower, blurred visually (and mentally), doing little more than aggressive dick jokes. That she could possibly be interesting to anyone beyond a few intimidated male comics, a bunch of gays, and some bitter housewives...highly unlikely. Later, Chelsea. Much, much later.