Open your dumb EYES, Brittny - Oh, Too Fuckin' Bad

Any way you spell it, a woman named Britney, Brittany or Brittny is bound to be stupid.

I really have no idea who celebutard Brittny Gastineau is. She just popped up as an important NEWS item because she got socked in the eye.

Gosh, what a surprise. Do you suppose her family took a look at her boy-toy and said, "He's gonna clock you" and she laughed?

Here's a guy who just looks SO harmless and SO SWEET.

What a DARLING. What a catch.

What a shit brain you were, Brittny, and probably still are. 'Cause you'll go back to him until he does his O.J. Simpson act and slits your throat.

Because in the back of his mind he knows why you're with him. And he secretly despises you for that.

He also doesn't think that much of you because unlike your good FRIEND Kim Kardashian, you don't have a huge butt that a guy like this would reeee-speck.

Hey, at least one of your eyes is black. Congrats. Idiot.

This celebutard is so LOW on the recognition chart, she has to parade herself around with a black eye before a newspaper website or gossip columnist would mention her.

I can just imagine her publicist saying, "How about really enraging that jerk of yours? Think about it. A week or two in a wheelchair for the lead future on an episode of "Access Hollywood!"

You go, girl.