A Faggot Apology from Jonah Hill

What a faggot. Jonah Hill is practically on his knees and ready to suck cock, to make up for...calling some faggot a faggot.

Fine, Jonah, why don't you just act out the scene from "Deliverance," and get down on all fours and get butt fucked while you squeal like a pig?

If you don't know who Jonah Hill is...congrats. Neither do I. When I first heard the story, I got him confused with another porcine idiot that is in every other movie ever made...Seth Rogen.

But back to the point. Jonah Hill is obviously not anti-gay. Neither am I. Honest.

But there IS such a thing as a faggot. A faggot is a homo who is screamingly effeminate and OBNOXIOUS. It's important that we've come to the point of "tolerance" for these pests. Most of us know not to insult them or beat the shit out of them or demand that they straighten their wrists. Quentin Crisp got beat up so you fags can mince around and annoy people.

BUT...there comes a point where your faggotry interferes with my peace and quiet. And like the crying baby, the monkey with the giant radio, or the shouting pest on a cell phone, I should be able to say "STOP," and ask the million dollar question, "Why can't you behave in public?"

What was Jonah Hill supposed to say? Should he have used the "correct" words? "Hey, you cowardly effeminate fool...stop teasing me and bothering me!"

THAT ain't much better, is it? Oooh ooh, tsk tsk, you're not allowed to insult a homo. Or a black. Muslim. Jew. Latino. Hindu. Woman. Anyone. Even if you say, "Do you notice anyone else calling attention to themselves with loud babble and a silly outfit," that's STILL oooh oooh tsk tsk, UN-PC.

How about fuck Gay Pride. Fuck Puerto Rican parades. Fuck EVERY ethnic parade and religious holiday. Pride only leads to arrogance. Why don't we get back to common ground? Take priests and nuns. They wear funny outfits. They believe in stupid shit. But they don't walk around calling Jews "heathens" or goading Muslims or Hindus with "You're gonna go to hell..."

So why the fuck should Jonah Hill have to tolerate some faggot goading him with teases about how "cute" he looks in "short pants" or whatever it was that was intended to piss Jonah Hill off. Why the fuck should anyone have to tolerate self-entitled behavior? Speak English. Don't pester me for money because you're black and you're ENTITLED. Don't bounce around without a bra and flaunt your cleavage and get mad if I look. Just fuckin' behave in public like everyone else.

"Faggot" is a good word. It denotes a specific type of irritating homo. "Nigger" denotes a specific type of irritating black. "Bitch" denotes a specific type of woman. These are good, useful words. Full equality is when we can use them and not have people screaming and acting like it's the Salem witch trials all over again. Burn Jonah Hill! Burn Burn Burn!

First off, he's too fat and greasy. Second, he did nothing wrong. He has a strong record on gay rights. He has gay friends. He has gay friends that probably use the word "queer" to describe themselves, and might even use "fag," too (see "Boys in the Band"). OK, you don't say FUCK and SHIT in mixed company (usually) or in front of your priest or your mother (usually). But you should be allowed to use it when it relieves your stress and when it's aimed at somebody that deserves it.

Those who disagree are fucking shits. And probably fags.