ED SHEERIN - As Much of a Nobody as SAM SMITH

Who the FUCK plucks mediocre "Britain's Got Talent" assholes out of obscurity and decides "THIS IS THE NEW SUPERSTAR?"

ED SHEERIN. Really?

This bloated variation on Beck...this oversized beer-sodden elf, is nothing. Not musically. Maybe he's a good interview, if he's going to babble about knowing Taylor Swift, or how he didn't think losing his virginity was a big deal. But as a singer songwriter...he's not a big deal. Not at all. He's monotonous.

I first saw this clown with the half-deflated soccer ball for a face when he tortured a Beatles song on the "50th Anniversary" tribute concert. Then he was on "Saturday Night Live." And he proved that he has one style of strumming and a very bland singing voice and very little melody. As to his lyrics, it wasn't even worth trying to decipher them.

Is it galling or encouraging for the hundreds of jerks with guitars who actually are BETTER than this twat...to see him succeed beyond his own talent? Does it make some jerks with guitars even more determined to go into a park and strum their guitars and look pensive, or soulful, or like they've had a pint too many?

Look, if I want to see a goofy-faced sweaty git with moppy ginger-hair hunched over his guitar trying to be likable, I have some old VHS of Glenn Tilbrook. At least that guy had an interesting voice and wrote a few dozen good songs.

ED SHEERIN and SAM SMITH...dull and duller.