Fuck YOU, John Oliver - What a Fake

Authentic talk show moments of putting your money where your mouth is?

There was the notorious time big fat Oprah told everyone in the audience: "You're each getting A CAR!"

Christ. Hundreds of human hens nearly flooded the aisles with their bright red eggs.

This act of generosity for a bunch of mostly middle-class white idiots was greeted with awe. And some jokes from David Letterman and others.

Another amazing moment? Bill Maher announcing he had given ONE MILLION DOLLARS OF HIS OWN MONEY to the Obama campaign for the presidency.

Bill, by the way, got almost nothing back for it except a tax deduction. Obama has proven to be one of the most apathetic politicians when it comes to legalization of marijuana (Bill's big issue). He also never appeared on Bill's show, while grinning his way onto the stage for most of Bill's competition.

Now? Look who got the FRONT PAGE of the fucking DAILY FAIL:

This fraud, John Oliver, acts as if HE gave away $15 million, screaming "Fuck You Oprah" and striking his Christ-like poses.

Hell, $15 million is actually CHICKEN FEED compared to what the maligned Jerry Lewis used to ring up every year doing his Muscular Dystrophy Telethon.

Now let's read the fine print. All this prick actually spent was $60,000, doing what debt collectors do, which is to pay pennies on the dollar and then try and harass their targets for big pay-offs.

How easy it is to get huge publicity for almost nothing. People pay $60,000 to publicists to dream up schemes to get a front page. THIS owl-faced, smart-ass in his oh-so-hipster black glasses did it by pretending to be a great philanthropist and iconoclast. Or something.

I'm still not sure, as with James Corden, WHY this fucking jibber-jabber jerkoff was given his own show in America. America is THAT short of people who can host a talk show?? Did Ben Elton turn the gig down? Was Jonathan Woss nixed because he sounds like Babwa Walters in dwag?

The guy looks too much like Stephen Colbert, another creep on horn-rimmed glasses. We're supposed to be amused by the way they sit behind a desk, 100 miles from any trouble, and tweak easy targets like Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump?

I've seen one or two of his exasperated motor-mouthed screeds of "comical logic," and maybe I got a mild smile for a few seconds. Mostly? No, I wasn't amused. His delivery is mediocre, his timing stinks, his persona is irritating, and he's not nearly as witty as he thinks. He shouldn't be as witty as ANYONE thinks, because he probably writes one joke out of ten that he tells. Not even that.

Can you imagine if Donald Trump said that he bought of $15 million in debt? John Oliver would be staring into the screen, smirking, grandly pointing out, "Donald, you ACTUALLY only paid $60,000."

Yeah, John. You ACTUALLY ONLY PAID $60,000.