Monday, July 18, 2016

Now, Ladies & Gentlemen...NIGGA LIPS MCKAYLA!

At the last normal Summer Olympics (skip this Brazilian mess, with its whores, mosquito virus, crime and almost no police presence), McKayla Maroney amused us with her twitchy-lipped disgust at finishing second.

The world of MEME had a good time sticking McKayla's "Church Lady" grimace just about everywhere, whether it was witnessing the 9/11 disaster to glancing at hardcore porn.

So whatever became of the bitch?

OH. She's decided she's a Millennial Rock Star. But unlike Shauna Cuntwell, she won't hoist a hundred or more cover versions to GooTube. She'll wait for drooling agents and managers to court her with offers and groom her with tailor-made (not Taylor-made) songs to make her an instant hit.

You know, like Paris Hilton was.

McKayla was that rare example of someone who was amusing by being disgusted.

As she stood on the podium, the self-entitled brat dolefully resisting a tantrum, her thin lips twisted into barely-contained irritation, everyone around her had a good laugh.

And what the fuck, a SILVER medal ain't bad. She might've gotten on a Wheaties box if there wasn't an ADORABLE BLACK GIRL also at the games, who managed to not make a mistake and got GOLD.

Now what?

At an age when most ambitious bitches are still in college, she's figuring out her "sound," and how closely influenced she is by some posturing fuckhead like Drake.

How wisely did she make use the time she had as an Olympic sensation nearly 4 years ago? Not too wisely at all. She didn't instantly declare herself a singer. She didn't become an actress and try to play off her famous facial expression. The only way she got any attention was that a few years ago pervs claimed they had nude pix of her. Being 18, they could show 'em.

She claimed they weren't her, which, of course, means they ARE. A boyfriend took them? A spy cam? I think her next ploy was to claim she wasn't yet 18, and anyone showing the pix could end up in jail. That slowed the traffic down.

It still wasn't getting her any fame or money. Being a silver medalist who made a silly face was OLD, OLD NEWS.

So now she's desperately trying to use the Summer Olympics for "Hey, REMEMBER ME? I'm ALL GROWN UP NOW."

Yeah, with fake tits and big rubber Nigga Lips.

It turns this story more toward DISGUST than amusement.

From Bratty Princess, she's just pushing toward being another Jenner Sister Lolita:

Can you believe it's the same girl?

From a somewhat cute spoiled brat, she's now just another egocentric, tawdry, Nigga-lip slut moron.

People have rightly pointed out that there's nothing KEWL about a girl whose naked pix are all over Tumblr, and Instagrams a selfie where she's sucking a muddy drink through gigantic fake Nigga lips.

"The body changes," she insists, as if she hasn't had massive injections of Chyna Black dung in her mouth.

From a flat-chested gymnast into Miss Busty at 20? From thin lips to a pair of toilet plungers? NO WAY.

Whatever became of "natural" girls? Isn't 20 a little too young to be such a whore-like specimen?

Remember when the ideal of beauty was not a gigantic African butt and huge African lips? Nothing wrong with those...on AFRICANS. They look ridiculous on white girls. (PS, Bardot had an adorable pout, and she was most definitely French, not some mutant from Gabon.)

McKayla, despite her ridiculous first name, is going to be an also-ran to the Jenner bitches, assuming she even gets that far. Her singing career has almost NO chance. The one thing she was good at, which could've been an inspiration (keeping her body in shape) she's let go. It's been a long, long time since anyone bothered sending out the "not impressed face" MEME on her.

It'll be a long time since there's another "whatever became of" story on her. What'll she be saying then? "No, I never became the female Drake, and I never found my singing style. What I hope for is to get new teeth to replace the ones that fell out when I kept taking meth. I'd like to go on GoFundMe and have the fat scraped out of my lips. I'd like to get a gym membership. I'd like penicillin...."

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