MILEY CYRUS: DON'T IT MAKE HER RED NECK BLACK??

Ooh, here's another shot of Miley Virus, the white country girl who is SO black!

You GO, girlfriend.

Oooooh, you be DANGEROUS! Srsly!

There was a time, long, long, long ago, where the epitome of glamour was a Grace Kelly. An Audrey Hepburn. A Diana Rigg.

Girls adorned their Barbie dolls with beautiful gowns and tasteful bracelets...and dreamed of being a Princess.

Now? Now they want to be ghetto sluts. They want to be uncouth Kardashians. The coolest thing in the world is to be illiterate and violent. The savagery of caring only about yourself, which has gone from a survival instinct to proud membership in the Crips or the Bloods, means you can "pop a cap" into a baby's face and kill it dead (a story that is currently in the news) or shoot a jogger in the back for the fun of it (another story that is currently in the news).

And here's Miley Virus, buying into it big time. She doesn't have coarse kinky hair...but she CAN hire somebody at $500 an hour to fuck with it so it looks like a run-over rabbit.

She doesn't have to shoplift a $2.98 t-shirt out of Conway's, but she CAN spend $500 to have a ghetto shirt custom made for herself...or spend $500 an hour to have some assistant hustle through Brooklyn to find an authentic shirt worn by a welfare mom or a gangsta rapper's baby mama. Oh yeah, and TATS because white skin is too white and pure. And instead of a hard-to-spell two letter word like NECKLACE...how about some fuckin' BLING? Maybe a razor blade. Some stupid one-word slogan. Or just gold chains...the kind that get ripped off a girl's neck by one of those dashing gangstas...dashing for the nearest subway to escape from the cops.

She can pay as many homeys as she wants to be her posse, and help her strut around bad neighborhoods full of graffiti. And when she tires of all that shit...she can escape to her $5 million condo, or $1000 a night hotel room...and make sure that nobody black and dangerous gets in the elevator, much less her floor, much less knockin' on her crib door.

The message Miley Virus is sending to white girls is that the "G THANG" is to be slutty, stupid and selfish. And if you can make your father puke every day of his life and wish he'd jerked off into a Mason jar...that's a "G THANG" too.