WHO WILL BE THE NEW DR. WHO? NERDS NEED TO KNOW!

SUNDAY...is going to be BIG for losers, nerds and childlike fools with bubbles for brains.

There will be a new Dr. Who.

WELL...I hate to be a spoiler, especially when it comes to a show I've never watched, but I do KNOW who's WHO.

Should I tell?

"That would be telling!" (Ooof...that's a catch-phrase from another show that people take a little too fucking seriously).

It just might be one of the BELOW THREE.

FIRST OFF...

Isn't it time to take the focus off this fucking Dr. Who and put it on the Daleks? Yes...there will be NO DR. WHO at all. The show will now star...the fabulous duo of Ant and Dec. You can't get enough of them, can you?

Their special power is to bug people.

In the first episode, their diabolical plan is to be pied pipers, and attract everyone in Britain who thinks they have talent...including precocious children, "beat box" rappers, street acrobats, transvestite opera singers and 70 year-old tap dancers, and lead them into the Thames to be drowned.

Seems like a good show to me.

HOWEVER...

Another possibility is...DR. WHO...DICKHEAD...

Lastly, there really is only ONE man on the planet who should be playing DR. WHO at this point. It's Dr. WHAT-THE-FUCK himself, SIMON COWELL. Because only SIMON COWELL has the right attitude for this assinine program...