ROTTEN ORANGE MEL B THE STINKING SPICE GIRL

How the fuck did "Scary Spice" of the idiotic has-been Spice Girls end up a judge on "America's Got Talent?" It makes as much sense as tossing a rotten orange on top of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, or giving a shrunken head to Meryl Streep instead of an Academy Award. While shrill, brainless, phony Sharon Osbourne had no business being a judge either.…"Mel B?" As in Melba, your face looks like toast?

This year, the panel was expanded from three idiots to four. Heidi Klum was added, and she is no judge of talent herself. All she ever did for a living is stand around. She married a guy who sings like a turtle fart and has a face that looks like he not only went through a car windshield but landed in a sewer over night. OK, we got the eye candy with Klum, and she doesn't say anything too stupid. The show's audience has no talent, so a judge doesn't need it either. You don't need to be a magician to appreciate one…in fact it helps if you have no idea how the trick is done.

But…WHY have this idiot Mel B, next to her? Next to her, Mel B. looks ugly and old (and she's younger than Klum). She is gross looking, has the peculiar complexion of a badly toasted yam, is inarticulate and has no expert advice to offer anyone, even on singing. We're supposed to be impressed that her "reaction" shots look like something out of a Madame Tussaud's dungeon display?

It's pretty bizarre when a show can make an audience think of shock jock Howard Stern and failed prop comic Howie Mandel as sensitive, witty, heartfelt, and intelligent.

Maybe, in this day of "reality TV" and people being famous for being famous, Mel B. is known to the great unwashed for being a tabloid tootsie…showing off her boob implants, giving her ex-husband millions in alimony because of her adultery, shocking brainless secretaries with her exotic lifestyle of having a bastard baby with Eddie Murphy….which doesn't even prove that Eddie is over his fascination with transvestites.

Look at this dumb fuck. Does she look like a star? I guess the average moron viewer can relate to her because she looks so much like a failed Burger King counter girl…the one who still stays on the job past 30. If you were across the way from her on a bus would you look at her twice? Anybody actually playing her music or anything by the idiot Spice Girls? I have only ONE sample…the first solo album by Melanie C…which wasn't bad but I only listened to it once or twice and got it as a free promo.

Mel B. inserts a tampon and gets a headache. That's the kind of brain-dead twat she is. Who is she to judge American talent? She's part English, part Carribean, part artificial coloring and 20% sorbitol cut with a meth lab's version of estrogen. That she makes a living in the "entertainment" field is Scary indeed.