Any slow news week, and let's go dig up a conspiracy theory, listen to some mysterious jerk who just came forward with hearsay, or just "pay tribute" by never forgetting that...
....well, never forgetting WHAT? What the fuck was so important about this woman anyway? And people think that the British government or Prince Charles would risk the downfall of the Empire to kill her? Just because she was slutting it with some rich Arab moron, after throwing herself at some wacky Paki asshole? Big damn deal. Right, and the PERFECT way to commit the perfect assassination would be in Paris with a varied crew of international PHOTOGRAPHERS all witnesses and taking pictures! Rather than poison or something subtle, or a few agents ambushing the lovers in the countryside and drowning them like a pair of rabbits, it's easier to stage a car crash in a tunnel!
Right, one government agent knew when Diana and Dopey were going to get into the car and where they were going, and that their driver had too much to drink, and that the pack of cars would make room for him to push Diana and Dopey into a wall and drive away undetected. Christ, even James Bond couldn't have pulled this off! Especially not the Daniel Craig version!
13 MILLION DOLLARS were wasted on investigating idiotic conspiracy theories, and some parents-in-law of some asshole-or-other are getting Scotland Yard to fuss about some more? Money well spent?
Maybe the real conspiracy is that Paul Anka is behind all of this, because he wants "Diana" played on the radio more, and every time some stupid shit like this is in the papers, Spotify gets an extra five hits, and a YouTube version of the song is played two more times
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