Chavaboard Hoodlum - England in the 21st Century

Oh, remember those old, old days when a British criminal looked and acted like whoever played "Bill Sykes" in a production of Dickens? Or when it was some charming bank robber wiv an accent? Or even the Krays, who were the blunt-nosed equivalent of American Mafia thugs?

Whee, thankfully things have gotten more colorful and advanced.

The stereotypical Cockney has been replaced by a Black on a hoverboard.

Cameron should be pleased. Why should Great Britain keep up the old stereotypical look of peaceful villages filled with people who stepped out of "My Fair Lady" central casting, when, instead, a snapshot of Croydon can look like Detroit?

Without the caption you'd think you were looking at some Nigga in Motown, who be liftin' some Red Bull or Colt 45.

Remember when "Let Him Have It" was a rare expression in Croydon crime?

Certainly nothing says "tourism money" like typical British citizen Omaree Lindsay. Why wouldn't people risk exploding in a plane in order to fly in and see such an authentic Englishman? Who can wait till Blackpool is 98% Black? That'll help tourism there. "You're perfectly safe," laughs the travel agent.

Good lord, a bowler hat and an umbrella? Nigga on a hoverboard, man. Enough with the Prince and Princess, and Paul McCartney's old back-up band, and living in the past via Downton Upstairs Downstairs. None of that is absolutely fabulous. Oh, and fuck Kipling!

It's brazen thieves grabbing groceries while zipping around on a hoverboard.

Or, brazen Muzzies blowing shit up and blaming it on people believing in Jesus when they should believe in Allah. They escape with black ski-masks on, and bullet-proof vests, and jump into a black SUV. Maybe they run over the Nigga on his hoverboard along the way.

Blood, blood, glorious blood, white British people shot down in the mud.

So falla me falla, the teachings of Allah, and let us all walla in glorious blood!

That's a parody of...hmm...I don't think too many people would know the name of the comedians. White, they were. Very British. So 20th Century.