MERRY PISS-MESS CHARLIE BROWN.
According to EBAY's CEO, "With this entertaining special, a kind of "infomercial," we're calling attention to some of the great things you can buy on EBAY. Neurotic Charlie Brown finds he can retreat to being a baby again...thanks to the piss-fetishist pedophile "subliminal bed wetting" CDs and DVDs we allow on EBAY."
All the favorite Peanuts characters are here.
If you write a header like "D*G SEX" you can sell bestiality paperbacks and magazines and eBay will look the other way. SNOOPY is happily fucking a bunch of girls in one photoshoot.
Likewise, Schroeder is bootlegging Beethoven CDs. He offers mp3 files of Leonard Bernstein conducting symphonies, and Rubinstein doing piano concertos, and writes "Attention eBay, I am the copyright owner or authorized re-seller. And I will send these mp3 files via postal mail as sending them by email is against the rules."
Ha ha. Only Bernstein or Rubinstein (both dead) or their record labels (too busy slurping Starbucks during coffee breaks) to bother sending in a DMCA. Meanwhile the seller sends the stuff by email, and eBay refuses to check and see that a) he's never paid for postage on any win, and b) his private messages all give download codes and mention that the items will arrive within the hour.
Ebay enjoys aiding and abetting music theft and their CEO giggles all the way to the bank.
More Peanuts characters? Of course:
Pigpen is in charge of dirty little deals, like opening up five or sex accounts to sell "a day in my life" stolen porn, and "Fantasy Photos of Famous Stars Being Raped." and when Pigpen1 finally gets a warning, he sells the same things as Pigpen2 and Pigpen3 and Pigpen4 and Pigpen5. Each will claim to be selling from a different location, like Texas, Florida, Beverly Hills, Sri Lanka and Croatia.
Lastly, look for Lucy and Linus to get into their usual bickering!
Yes, it's SO easy to sneak dirty underwear on EBAY. Just show the dirtiest, filthiest photos and lie: "New With Tags" or "These are to show what panties look like when worn by a reeking slut. Bidder will get a fresh clean pair. Running a normal photo without salacious ad copy about "odors" and "wet absorbent crotch" just wouldn't do justice to this fine, fine product."
EBAY'S CEO notes, "We have no right to use copyrighted and trademarked Peanuts characters, but it's up to the rights owner to find the material, jump through hoops, state "under penalty of perjury" they own the rights, and then wait a week or a month or a year for us to comply with the takedown request. Ha ha ho ho hee hee!"
It's GOOD to be an Internet bully and have the "Digital Millennium Copyright Act" telling everyone to go fuck themselves.
And are these Peanuts charaters technically underage? The CEO laughs, "We'll just put in a disclaimer at the end of the film: Attention, we own copyright, we are authorized, and all models are over 18 because we said so."
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.