Awe, Isn't it AWESOME? No, but a Modest Kick wins on Kickstarter

Here we have someone who isn't too greedy (or talented) but will reach his goal.

What is it?

To waste $5 or $15 of indulgent middle-class morons' money on his kiddie story.

It's all about an AWESOME OPOSSOM! Tee hee!

In the "old days" this jerk would either write a fucking kiddie book for probably under $500 advance, and that would be it.

Now? Oh, everybody's in show biz, and everybody can use simple tools to upload their worthless shit to the Internet, for GooTube or a fabulous PODCAST. Just "ask somebody else to pay for it!" Tee hee.

STEP ONE: think up a stupid self-indulgent idea.

STEP TWO: gather all your stupid self-indulgent friends to help push it.

BUT...make sure to make it a "modest proposal." Don't ask for FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Or more.

STEP THREE: Ask all your self-indulgent friends to annoy all their friends by posting on Facebook! Ka-CHING!

Who doesn't LOVE kiddies?

Who doesn't LOVE animals?

Who has any taste anyway? Meaning, if you're a sappy creamcheese-brain of a white guy, and can't really sing too well, it doesn't matter. Just write some overly familiar sappy music and lyrics, and you'll be sure to find at LEAST 30 wimpy assholes to fund you.

Remember, NOBODY knows what GOOD is. Look at Jimmy Buffett. Raffi. All kinds of simple-minded wimps. People spend a fortune on lame Hallmark greeting cards, too.

What's it matter to throw somebody some spare change? $5? $15?

THIS creepy sap actually has a recording studio (doesn't everyone...it's called Pro Tools) so all he wanted was, oh, a thousand dollars because...why should HE waste his time making a podcast nobody will listen to, and NOT be paid SOMETHING for it?

Oooh, he's ALMOST there with only SIX days to go.

I'm sure he or one of his Facebook pests will make a point of this: "Hey everyone, my FRIEND is SOOOOOOO CLOOOOOOSE to having his DREEEEEEAM COME TRUUUUUUUUE. Give him $20!"

Know what I'd like? I'd like if you could pay to DE-Fund a project.

Wouldn't that be great? You pay $20 to counter $20 that was donated. As in: "I don't want this project funded! I'm putting down $20 to cancel somebody else's donation!"

A rich person could quash a lot of assholes like THIS self-indulgent cutie.

The lesson here is how to use social (disease) media: do something easy and lame that anybody might like, ask for modest donations, and you're in.

Oh, most important, have that self-entitled attitude that YOU will not do anything ON SPEC. YOU want to be paid to play. YOU are worth somebody else's money. Hey, this guy knocked off a SAMPLE, and that's good enough.

PS, there are publishers out there who create kiddie books that include a CD of songs, or a CD of someone narrating the story. THIS guy may have submitted to a few publishers who turned his lame-ass shit down. BUT...there's KICKSTARTER. Tee hee!

Makes you want to write your own kiddie musical, doesn't it? Snotty the Big-Nosed Aardvark. Adele the Lovesick Hippo. Muffin, the Dog That Leaves Turds Everywhere....