"Aw, give me another Bowie-job. And another...and another..."

Oh, it's a slow news week. Nobody important has died. Not as important as BLOWIE. So let's go back to ALL BLOWIE, ALL THE TIME. How soothing, these Blowie-jobs.

Hooray, a whole bunch of NEW thrills in today's paper! Wham bam thank you ma'am!

January 27th and a trio of new articles about The Thin White Douche. This could go on well into the Summer.

People are SO over Glenn Frey!

That's understandable. He was a normal-looking guy. He was only one member of a world-famous rock group. He died of un-romantic shit: ulcerative colitis, rheumatoid arthritis and pneumonia. Who the FUCK wants to read about those conditions? Ech!

Stardust died of liver cancer, right? Pancreatic cancer, perhaps? Either is cool, like the cancers that took TV Western cutie Michael Landon, movie cutie Patrick Swayze and super cool Steve McQueen.

With the excuse of "the shock is slowly wearing off" and "it's a slow news day," we're hearing "MORE, MORE, MORE." (Of course Billy Idol was hugely influenced by David Bowie. Much more than white weddings).

Tony Visconti gets his spotlight telling us when David knew and what he did. "Tell us every detail for we've got to know it all, and do you have a picture of the pain?"

No, but we have endless pix of "brave Dave" looking perfectly ordinary on the street not long before he died, and endless vintage pix, and plenty of shots of inane fans showing off their stupid tattoos as they cry in front of murals or leave unwanted flowers at his apartment.

Go ahead, Tony, the Stardust is gone, but you can take a curtain call.

And THIS just in!

Hey Titmouse, nice tat. Do any guys fuck that bint Diamond Dog-style, just to see that stupid Aladdin Sane cartoon? Do guys pull out and aim for his fucking face?

If anything good comes out of this morbid obsession, it's that it proves the not-too-original last line from "Old Man" by Randy Newman: "Everybody dies."

I can see that the curious would like to know how anyone, famous or not, handles a death sentence. Is it with stoic determination to ignore it? With denial? With drugs? And how does one deal with a life partner who lost his life? But invasion of privacy is a questionable pursuit. It's also not helpful to be awash in gossip, and ridiculous sidebar articles (like: Vanilla Ice was influenced by Bowie, so we should all be impressed).

A generation ago, Chevy Chase on "Saturday Night Live" had a running joke during the fake news section: "Generalissimo Franco...is still dead."

Substitute Franco for Bowie.