Drunken Bitch Dead - Waste of a Good Twat, Maybe

What a surprise, a bitch with a nose ring, a pierced mouth, and barely the ability to crayon garish make-up on her stupid face, FROZE TO DEATH after wandering away from a party, DRUNK OFF HER STUPID FUCKING ASS.

As this blog is always highly sympathetic to brainless bint bitches, and always optimistic about the future, let's call this a GOOD THING. The death of dopey drunken Lizzie Luebke may serve as a warning to other drunken idiots. This is, of course, assuming that they read news articles, instead of choosing video games, yapping on a phone, swapping spit with each other or consuming dangerous chemicals as their only interests in life.

Luebke, a known drunken party girl moron, seems to have passed out in a bar a few months ago, and obviously showed no signs of knowing any kind of limits when she drank. As to how often she was bent over being fucked by dicks she couldn't remember in the morning, and swabbing semen stains off her thighs, who knows.

And, at this point who the fuck cares. Stupid is as stupid dies.

This is winter. It's COLD out. It's so cold even a drunken bitch can die from the cold, especially when her insides are pickled with alcohol. It's never a good idea to "warm up" by drinking booze.

Sadly, it's possible to be cold sober...and die of the cold. Here's a story that deserves your pity.

Georgia, in the Deep redneck South, is not supposed to be all that cold, even in winter, but with climate change, all kinds of crazy shit happens. It's entirely possible that old Eddie Riff...er, Roy Riffe...is a nasty piece of work, but how much harm could he do to any minority member smart enough to stay the fuck out of Georgia?

Since he's more likely just a nice God-fearin' Christian with no prejudices (this IS the blog of optimism) let's go with the sympathetic flow. How terrible for the geezer to be bounced out of his wheelchair, and to woefully watch his wife waste away. What's he got to live for now?

Mrs. Riffe wasn't doing anything stupid, like drinking herself into imbecility. It's doubtful she had a nose piercing or wore garish make-up either. What do you make of these two frozen deaths in two polar opposite parts of the country?

If God exists, He doesn't work in mysterious ways, he's just asleep at the wheel. He isn't doing a good job of multi-tasking, or assigning angels to look after oh, a thousand people each while he's off doing something miraculous like supervising Muslims murdering 100 people at a rock concert in Paris.

If you're a Christian preacher, you MIGHT say The Lord didn't save a dimwit chick named Luebke, because He was sending a message to other drunken bitches to be more careful. Sayeth The Lord: "you girls are young. I've given you tight little twats that you carefully shave. You deprive men of pleasure when you waste your twats by dying."

lBut what in the name of The Lord is the point in killing old Mrs. Riffe? Sayeth The Lord: "It was better that she freeze to death in a few hours, because I planned to give her an awful-awful disease that would've given agony for months if not years. Ha ha ho ho hee hee!"

One Muslim cleric puts it simply enough: "The 21st Century is shit. There won't be a 22nd anyway. Even we Islam know-it-alls realize this, which is why we brainwash everyone into believing virgins will lubricate their twats with hummus, and fuck us when we die, and clench especially tight if we die while blowing up Christians or Jews. As to why women would want or get 40 virgin GUYS in heaven, who don't know what the fuck they're doing, well, we don't much give a shit about women, do we?? Female ISIS terrorists don't get any reward of 40 fucks in heaven. It makes sense if you believe in ISLAM! ISLAM says women should be fucked, cloaked, and kill Christians and not expect even an extra falafel ball for it. Allah Ookie Kazookie! God is Grating!"

The Muslim cleric adds, "Too bad that Luebke girl and that Riffe old lady died in the cold before a Muslim man could've killed them. That's 40, maybe 80 virgins in heaven that will go unfucked!"