Monday, January 18, 2016

GO FUND ME 'CAUSE I LOST POWERBALL? NIGGA, PLEASE!

"Hey GUYYYYSSSS, it's me, super-white super-blonde ultra-Irish SHAUNA CUNTWELL!

"Do I have your attention, GUYYYYSSS?

"Good! Usually I just sing bad covers of Taylor Swift songs, but I saw something on the news that really made my day!

"You know, I've had several failed Kickstarter campaigns. I thought, what is the world coming to? Don't cute little blonde twigs with lollipop heads mean anything? Aren't I everyone's fantasy grrrrrl?

"I began to get the idea Taylor Swift was the exception, and Icky Minaj was the rule. That for every proper, nicely dressed blonde who doesn't show her tits, there are two dozen half-breeds making just as much money for being sluts.

"Well, I saw this news item about a self-entitled black girl who had the nerve to turn up on GOFUNDME demanding money because she wasted all of hers on Powerball lottery tickets!

"You know, GOFUNDME is where people can ask for money for just about anything, right? It's not like KICKSTARTER where you're asking for money so you can make a profit on a product, book or CD, and give a copy to anyone who donates.

"Anyhoo, this black girl got booted off GOFUNDME! Imagine that!

"She was asking people to reimburse her for what she foolishly spent, AND, give her more, so she could buy MORE Powerball tickets in the future!"

"And the GOFUNDME people said, in essence, "FUCK OFF!"

"Wow! When I first saw that bitch on GOFUNDME, I thought, 'Nigga, please!' It seemed like this was just another outrageous, selfish load of ghetto-shit from an ignorant self-important nobody! And then GOFUND ME did da right thang, and canned her ass, yo! So for a split second, the world stopped hurtling toward street slang, surly stupidity and the welfare mentality. At least ONE bitch got a reality check!

"So I'm optimistic once again, that an adorable blonde can still make it in show business purely on her big eyes, her round head, her uber Master Race white skin and blonde hair, and her brilliant singing and songwriting.

"OK, just in case, I'm showing my titties. But that's not such a big deal is it???"

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