"GOD ***** THE TROUBADOUR WHO TRIES TO BE A STAR"

You ever heard of some jerk in a hipster hat called Twyman?

No. Me neither. Not until today. The media whore folkie has announced that he's gonna play a concert for ISIS.

"Don't, dont, don't, DON'T PLAY THE CHORDS OF FAME" a real troubadour once sang. But what if nobody knows who you are, you never sang a song that was a hit, and you're getting a bit desperate about being the new Woody Guthrie?

The headlines today are all about "FOLKSINGER TO PLAY FOR ISIS."

Yeah, the "Peace Troubadour" is a little middle-aged, huh? It's time for a career move.

Clever idea, too. The media loves a media whore, and they're playing along.

Here's a guy who has been overseas since the fucking 90's, probably doing a lot of free concerts (for room and board and an honorarium of a few thousand dollars). People STILL don't know who he is. So damn, he ain't goin' overseas again without a real grandstand publicity play.

Don't you just love that official photo of him in that stupid hat?

Think he doesn't know "Guantanamera" and "Kumbaya?" You can just imagine him whispering into the microphone, "And now, a little something by a guy you might have heard of, named Springsteen..."

The guy does have a good publicist, doesn't he?

He's admitted he is NOT playing in a dangerous place, that he'll be surrounded by various religious leaders, and if ISIS doesn't show up, don't blame him. The show will go on.

He'll conveniently work his way toward Syria by playing gigs in Italy and Israel and anywhere that gawkers will gather to get a last look at him before he's blown to bits. Except we all know the fizzle here.

This self-serving spud will play to a few curious hummus-faced morons, and that'll be it. ISIS leaders will stay away. First off, they aren't idiots. They aren't going to mass where they can be picked off. Second, they aren't interested in a folkie show when they could be praying or slaying.

ISIS is not a country. They don't even have a headquarters anyone can identify. This guy isn't saying he's gonna drive into enemy territory alone, or with a pal with a camcorder, and sing folk songs in a language most ISIS maniacs don't even understand.

Does the media care? No, they got their headline, and the fine print, about how this guy is NOT in any danger, is buried deep in the last few paragraphs of the story.

It's not like this guy is Dr. King (whose birthday is a holiday on January 18th) marching into Redneck territory. He's going to show up in front of bewildered peasants, with a camera crew and some reporters and a bunch of religious leaders in silly dresses and costumes, and nobody is going to care.

Can you imagine Dylan, Baez, Ochs, Seeger...announcing, "We'll be playing a date in Atlanta at a big, protected city venue. We're hoping the KKK will show up, so we can play "We Shall Overcome" to them. We'll have plenty of armed guards and reporters but gee, it could be so dangerous! If we can get the Klan to agree to a show in some small town, we'll be glad to come out and bring our reporters and camera crews and fans to play for them there. Aren't we brave??"

This is FARCEBOOK. He's booking a farce.