Who Buys CDs Anymore? THE BRATTY & THE FATTY

Let's face the facts. A big reason the music business is giving us SHIT, is that the SHITS are the ones who buy. Topping the charts are assholes like Zayn Mongrel, and A Dull.

Why? Zayn's insane brats don't want digital downloads and are too young and stupid to use torrents. They want the CD with the CUTE booklet for their COLLECTION. RAH RAH!

Then we have the fat slobs who like A Dull. They can afford giant boxes of chocolates, so they can also afford CDs, and they are compulsive hoarding slobs. They equate mp3 files with vitamin pills. Tiny. Pointless. Better to have a CD they can clutch in their pudgy paws.

BOTH groups would love nothing better than to get an autograph on a CD in person. A newspaper advert for something like that would be SO exciting.