Fall Out Bowie - David Influenced Everybody on EVERY PLANET

Is there anyone who can't say "DAVID BOWIE CHANGED MY LIFE?"

Or "DAVID BOWIE CHANGED MY UNDERWEAR?"

OR "DAVID BOWIE PUT ON MY UNDERWEAR?"

It seems that idiotic writers are trying to outdo themselves in declaring David Bowie the most influential dead rock star since the "KING OF POP" himself, Michael Jerkson.

WAS HIS ALBUM CALLAD "ALADDIN SANE" OR "MANHATTAN INSANE?"

Take a look at THIS lunatic babbling on the front page of a New York Tabloid:

SAPRISTI!

Let's dial this back a little, ok?

I'm aware people actually are shocked and even sad that this guy croaked. What pisses me off is the kneejerk reaction that is declaring him the greatest genius of our age...responsible for knocking down the Berlin Wall, turning half the world queer, and inflicting everyone from Lada Gaga to Boy George to that nitwit from Twisted Sister on us.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, Reggie's stupid "Rocket Man" is just as creepy and ultimately absurd as "Ground Control to Major Tom..." David's best song is not the world's greatest. And it's only ONE song. Another two or three were ok rockers. But it's not enough to say that the guy was basically a fashion boy, and that people went to see him for his costumes as much s the music. We're supposed to actually believe that his fucking albums are all brilliant! No.

What next, an article declaring his work in films rivaled Brando and Orson Welles, and influenced the fabulous Leo De Caprio??

The left side. OK. Bowie IS without question, an androgyne who helped to blur the already dodgy lines between male and female. But let's get real...18 year-old boys look like girls, and if they are Shauna-titted, vice versa. When you were in high school or college, did you sometimes think, "Oh...that's hot...uh oh, wrong gender..." sure. But it had nothing to do with David Bowie.

It's not like this guy invented transvestism or wearing a space suit. Most artists, good or bad, mirror the times and find a way to be commercial. Few actually are pioneers and create change on an unwilling public. Bowie was far from alone in the freak show world of progrock.

He was just ONE of many who suggested it was cool to be weird. There was Zappa. There was the Bonzo Dog bunch. There was the Velvet Underground. There was a lot going on. Sure, his album covers were alarmingly gender-peculiar, and sometimes he was hunky and other times dory. So what. He saw it was selling, so he kept playing the game. When painting his face and looking silly didn't work, he became the Thin White Douchebag or Mr. Disco or whatever else would put butt-fucked asses in the seats.

He was just one guy in the playpen along with Fagger and Jerry. Er, Jagger and Ferry.

Bowie influenced Prince and Lady Gaga?? A LITTLE, not a LOT, because by the time those idiots came along, there was an entire cultural revolution going on, including the fabulous GAY-LESBIAN-TRANSGENDER community marching all over the place in each others' undies.

The REST of the fucking Daily News page is utterly nuts. First off, who the fuck would name a penguin after David Bowie? Why is that news? Better to name a baby born with flippers after him. Surely there's a mutant turtle out there with his head sticking out of his ass and his shell on backwards. How about a silvery salamander with no genitalia at all? THE BOWIE.

Next, yet another dubious article on his influence. He influenced Boy George, that idiot Dee Snyder, and/or Madonna. Not in his music. Bowie wasn't a musical influence on ANYONE. What was so radical about "Rebel Rebel?" What was so disco-brilliant about "Fame, fame, fame, fame, fame?"

You can as easily say some fringe lunatic like Jayne-Wayne County influenced Boy George or Dee Snyder. Madonna was influenced by punk. She came off as a slut, that's all. Bowie wouldn't have worn Madonna's brand of drag.

Bowie's most famous songs are NO MORE INTERESTING than shit from T-Rex or Lou Reed. "A Space Oddity" is very ordinary progrock. Marc Bowl-head could as easily have sung "Suffragette City" as "Bang a Gong." Bowie's actual music, as opposed to his freakish face and Long Creepy Duke persona and other disguises, is NOT MUCH. Christ, put on the fucking records, CDs or MP3 thefts...what's there is not all that different from a ton of glam-rock, rock, progrock and just plain pop bullshit.

Face it, Bowie was reduced to a "Greatest Hits" package in his own lifetime. People stopped sitting around hugging individual copies of "Aladdin Sane" or "Hunky Dory" 30 years ago.

The good news is that within another few days, somebody else will die, some Muslims will do something insane, some twat will have a wardrobe malfunction, or one of the Kardashians or Jenners will grab one of their pet niggas and parade around for no reason at all. And David Bow Wow Wow will once again be as forgotten as THIS BOW WOW WOW: